A Shadowed Romance

Chapter 10: Honest Love

Chelsea:

After changing out of my torn-up clothes I go out into the hall where I see Harrison pacing anxiety written all over his face.

"There's nothing to be anxious about, I'm just a girl." I tell him. His head shoots up so fast he's probably got whiplash.

"Chelsea, you're okay." He breaths, he takes careful steps toward me, "You are okay, right?"

"I will be." I answer him with a soft smile. "Let's go for a walk. There's something you need to know." I take his arm and lead him out of the institute after picking up my bow-set, Michael, and messenger. We take off the glamour when we get to a busy mall and sneak into dressing rooms. I let my hand stay at the crook of his arm.

"The first thing I should say is I'm sorry." I tell him.

"Look, I-" Harrison begins.

"Just listen." I tell him. "Connor and I were four years apart. He was thirteen when this started. I was almost nine." I take a deep breath and walk to a vendor to get a lemonade, before I can pay Harrison does. "I lived and grew up in the institute, the only other place I'd ever been was Idris, and that city is beautiful. The actual city of Chicago wasn't somewhere I spent a lot of time. I stayed in the Shadowhunter zones away from mundanes and downworlders, the only exception being Ophelia.

"Connor lived among the mundanes with his parents. He was exposed to everything I wasn't." I take a big gulp of the lemonade to keep myself composed. "One day when his family came to the institute to replenish their supplies he told me to be his girlfriend. Being only nine I didn't really know what that meant, so I agreed. It was like playing house with him. He'd give me kisses and shower me with gifts. It was fun. As we got older he got more handsy as I started to... develop. Even when I told him to stop, he wouldn't. He didn't want me hanging out with Andrew or Theo except to train. Olivia and Sasha were okay, as long as he was with me. I'd just turned 11 and became a woman, in the physical sense anyway, when he came into my bedroom and stripped me down to nothing." I stop and try to speak. I take a long sip of my drink. Harrison wraps his arm around me like Theo does. Pressing my head to his chest letting me listen to his heartbeat. 1... 2... 3... 4... Ba bum. Ba bum. Ba bum.

I don't move as I continue to speak, "He threw me on the bed like a rag doll and told me that he had a present for me. That every girl gets this kind of present when they become a woman. He stripped down to nothing. It made me so uncomfortable. I told him to stop. At least I tried."

"Shh." Harrison rocks me in his arms as the tears fall down. He walks to a secluded part of the mall and sits down on the ledge pulling me up next to him.

"That's when he did it, he raped me. I had no idea what was going on." I tell him, "Theo walked in on us, I was crying begging him to stop as he was repeating I love you repeatedly the whole time. Theo threw Connor off of me. I quickly got dressed and hid in my closet. I heard the boys fighting in my room to afraid to do anything else I cried."

"Tell me you broke up with him." He pleads knowing the answer already. I sit up and face him brushing my hair from my face.

"Connor blackmailed me into staying with him and sleeping with him, again every time he'd tell me he loved me the whole time. It wasn't until he was killed by a demon when I turned thirteen that I was free from him. Andrew was my calm when Theo was in protective beast mode. Connor and Theo fought almost daily about me, I always ran to Andrew. We grew close that way. In the same way that Jocelyn ran to Luke when Valentine got to be too much. Eventually I found myself in love with Andrew. He took everything in tiny steps, letting me take the first step every time. Connor slept with me, and that's how I thought guys showed love. So, when Andrew wouldn't sleep with me. I found other shadowhunter boys that would. Boys from our age of twelve to eighteen. It eventually did earn me a reputation and guys would eventually start coming to me to sleep with me because I was easy to sleep with. I thought they loved me and that's why they did it. Eventually Andrew did sleep with me, but it was so different from the boys, and even Connor, because he put me first and he cared about me, enough to wait for me to heal from Connor. We stayed together and he tried his hardest to show me what love really was, but it was scary."