Dreams of My Past (COMPLETED)

Chapter 24 - Obsession

Matthew pov.

This can't be happening. Why can't Alesandra want to see me? She loves me I know it. She can never love Nikolai.

Matthew is now obsessed with Alesandra. He wants to get her back and whatever it takes. He was pacing back and forth. Raking his hand through his hair. His emotions are like a caged lion, wanted to be free and devour someone and eat them alive!

But still, you haunt me in ways I can never explain, never shake. I'll play by the rules and play hard to get. I will get you back Alesandra. You don't love Nikolai, you love me. I'm here and I'll be here every single day for you. You were just infatuated with him.!!

Matthew Petterson was a blond young man of thirty, with dark brown hair and green eyes. The man was powerfully built, supple as a panther. A successful business and a billionaire also. He had an unwavering passion and dedication to his work. He was known to many as sharp and had an eye for talent. He hired most of his people with an excellent background in acquiring businesses globally.

Matthew, as a general rule, hid his emotions. He figured he'd rather not hand it over and so all at times his face was blank. But today was different.

I'm stubborn as hell, and what Matthew wants, Matthew gets. I'll do anything to get it. There it goes again, my inner dialogue, but it's not my friend. It whispers to me, everything has gone wrong, it's terrible, no way back, it's a disaster, ruin.

Matthew's inner turmoil over Alesandra and Nikolai. 'To murder you? He would gut me in an instant. Things he felt he should have done, coupled with his perceived failures dominated his mind. He thought about his actions and words, finding them inadequate. Festering guilt rendered his mind ineffective, helping others settled his mind, allowing his logical thinking to re-emerge.

I sit still on my chair, with no strength to move. My shaky fingers finally come to stop after running restlessly through my messed up hair. I bite down on my lip trying to control my emotions. This not going to help, it's not going to change anything. I know anyone would laugh at it if they were present here right now. I know there's nothing to feel so despair over a girl.

He was fascinated by Alesandra and tracking her every move had become an obsession.

It's foolish, petty, and completely pointless - this obsession with Alesandra has absolutely nothing to do with my life, yet they consume my free time (work time too) like an evil voyeuristic addiction.

His fixation with her is something an unhealthy, extreme interest in it. He lost control of his own emotions, feelings about her. He becomes compulsive and begun to lose control over it. He has been besieged by uncontrollable thoughts.

Today I woke up and all I could think about is her and I'm already extremely anxious that I could lose her.

I shout curses at it and finally let out my tears. How do you take something not to be a big deal when it is one? Do you just act alright because people would think you are over-reacting? God' this is not me. Why am I so overwhelmed with my emotions lately?

No matter how hard he tried it was always Alesandra that he was thinking of.

He would describe his heartache as like music. At times it was quiet and allowed him to function, at other times it would rise and the anger would burst from his chest in a vicious shout of anguish. Right now there was a flute playing in the background and he was able to remember her with fondness, that was rare though, and he enjoyed the moment.

Now you're with someone, with Nikolai who gives you hugs instead of me. I can never hope to win you back and I don't deserve you, but every day I pray that he treats you well, that you know all the happiness I never gave, that you make back those wasted years we shared. I wish you were still by my side, that I could make amends, that it was me you snuggled after dark. I've grown, I've learned about what really matters, but not soon enough for us.

I had thousands of photos of you posted on my wall; He looked at them every day. She was so perfect. She didn't notice me, but why would she? I traced my finger across her paper cheek, and kissed her lips, as I did every night. I love her. I love her so much. I ache for her. She is my universe.

I loved you in the day, I loved you in the night, but you cheated on me. You broke my heart. Now I will hunt you down, cos' baby I'm no clown.

At the far end corner, Matthew is standing and talking to someone on his phone.

"Have you heard anything about her? Is she still seeing him? Any god damn news?!!"
Matthew sounds frustrated over something. And he slammed his phone on the counter.!!

"Shit!! F***k!!"

He was restless for the past few days. And he wanted to see Alesandra but things didn't go his way. He was furious with the people he hired to watch Alesandra. He learned that Alesandra will be leaving for France with her family. But Nikolai will be left behind and he made a plan to see Nikolai just for the old-time sake.

He picks up his phone and dialed Nikolai's number... he's planning on something.

"Hey man, how are you?" his voice is hoarse and muttering on something.

"Dude, I'm good. I'm trying to get a hold of you seems your pretty busy." Nikolai is quiet.

"Yeah quite busy. Good to hear from you, man. You're up for tonight?"

"Yes, man. I need to loosen up. let's meet up at the lounge. See you at eight." then he cut the line.

Matthews' eyes are glistening and his smiles are ear to ear. This is good. He's up for something and a shiver runs through his skin.

He was immersed in his paper works when he heard his door opened...And he had an unexpected guest today. He was looking at the person coming in right through his door..... His throat is restricted to air. He looked surprised.

Matthew felt goosebumps rise on his arms as he was standing still and looking at his guest at his office today.

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*** this is not good guys' I'm telling you. Matthew is up on something. Hang in there. This is really exciting. It's really difficult when you have writer's block and I can't do anything.

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Have a wonderful day ahead! Enjoy reading my story. Appreciate it much ladies & gents'. (editing, polishing my book)