The Outsider- Avatar Fanfic

Chapter 21 - The Science Side of Tumblr

I was falling.

You At least, I think I was.

It was like I had been dunked in water, and yet I could breathe. Barely. The air felt hollow in my chest, like the oxygen simply wasn't there. I was gasping, but I could hear nothing, see nothing, feel nothing.

Or...could I?

I wasn't sure.

All I knew, was that I was falling. Slowly sinking, my fingers trailing in the nothingness that surrounded me. I wasn't even sure if my eyes were open or not. But that didn't really matter, did it? Nothing matters now.

What? No, everything matters. The War, the Great War, where the world first saw the true potential humanity had for death as men and women were torn apart with machine guns and bombs and crying out in the rain as their world narrowed down to the trenches imprisoning them—

Wait, no, that was a different war.

But everything matters. Everyone. That little boy with grey eyes and a smiling heart and the world on his shoulders, that young girl forced to be a woman far too quickly, the boy with a soft touch who missed his father so desperately; the people who scream silently under the oppression of...the British Empire? No, the Fire Nation. Different history, wrong world, wrong world? Wrong universe.

And yet it didn't feel wrong. I felt closer than I ever had before. I was closing in, slowly sinking back to where I was meant to be...back to the warmth of the summer sun, the smell of honey on the breeze—

But that breeze couldn't speak to me there, could it?

—Back to cozy nights in winter where it never snowed but it was still cold enough to leave a trail of your breath and the crystal touch of frost on grass. Back to teasing grins and witty words as my family played together, forever one wrong word away from an argument that we would eventually forget about. Back to my friends who would never give up on me—

But am I giving up?

Am I dying?

I suddenly began to panic and thrash around in the nothingness, my heart thumping wildly as adrenaline coursed through my veins. What is happening to me? Why am I drifting, floating further away from where I should be? Why do I feel so tired, so exhausted that I could...just...fall asleep...

I could feel the sandy bottom approaching. Soon...soon I could sleep.

I closed my eyes again –not that it made a difference– and I let my exhausted body drift. I simply let the darkness curl around my limbs, softly caressing them, letting me relax for the first time in...how long? I had always been fighting for something, hadn't I? This was much better, this peacefulness. Yes, this was where I belong. And when I reach the sandy bottom I can be at peace forever.

But a nagging thought disrupted my dosing mind. I had been fighting for something important hadn't I? I had been fighting for someone, hadn't I? So why was I here and not there? Curious...curious how suddenly I could see every aspect of my life playing out in front of me, full of love, laughter, flashes of anger and hatred, pain. Oh that pain...that pain of being ripped apart...

I could hear whispers at the back of my mind, words jumbling over one another as though deaf to each other's sounds. Soft voices of women, deep rumbles of men, bell-like laughter, squeaks, cracks, loud and shy, all there. My friends? My family? Green eyes filled with warmth I knew so well...my mother...

Yes, my darling.

Mum?

I could feel...something? Reaching out to me. A warmth I could never forget. I think I smiled.