A "The Fault in Our Stars" Fanfic: Infinity's End

Part 8: Unfathomable Stars

Hey everyone!  So sorry about the delay for my new chapter, I've been getting loaded with a lot of things lately, so I haven't had much time on Wattpad.  But finally, it's Friday :D and I'm pretty relaxed.  I would still like to thank you all for the amount of reads I am recieving, it makes me really happy :). Hope you all enjoy this chapter now, okay?

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After memories of The Night of The Broken Trophies filled my mind, I realized how late the time was (it was around 7:30pm and I still had to eat dinner), so I said goodbye to Issac and drove back to the house.

As I turn the rusty-looking golden doorknob to the house, I sniff in an essence of what seemed to be fried chicken, as well as a faint aura of vegetables.  While I yank my oxygen tank into the kitchen, I notice  my mom and dad sitting at the dinner table quietly, only the sounds of scraping forks and knives against plates filling the silence.

"Hey."  I say to both of them as I prop down into a seat at the table with an empty plate in front of it.

"Hey, sweetie.  How was Support Group?"  my mother questions me, her head still faced towards her plate of food.

"It was the same as always I guess."  I reply as I scoop up a small spoonful of corn nibblets and sliced carrots.

She nods her head when she hears my response, and then speaks up again, lifting her head to look at me,  "How's Issac doing?"

"Still blind."  I tell her vaguely as I raise my eyebrows.

She sighs, "Hazel honey, that's not what I meant.  I meant-"

"I know what you meant,"  I interrupt, and continue, "He's doing fine."

"That's good."  she smiles at me gently, and then my father asks, "Anything new or exciting happen in Support Group today?"

I consider his question for a second, and then answer, "Uh, yeah.  There was this new member in Support Group today.  His name is Evan.  He seems nice and he has lung cancer just like me."

"What a small world we live in."  my dad remarks, and I say, "You bet.  Another wise saying from a wise father."

My dad rolls his eyes, and then my mother says, "So have you talked to Evan during Support Group?"

I answer her by saying, "Yeah, we talked with each other for a bit after Support Group.  Only stuff that "lung cancer people" or any "cancer person" would understand."

Both my mom and dad glance at each other when they hear this, and then my mother says, "Oh... interesting.  Seems like you found someone like Augustus."  she raises her eyebrows up and down when she says this, though I shake my head quickly.

"Noooooo, okay, no.  I just met Evan today.  One day.  That is it.  It's not like after one day I'll fall deeply in love with him and then he'll fall in love with me and then I'll be his girlfriend and he'll be my boyfriend and then we'll marry each other and have kids and live with each other for the rest of our lives.  No.  That's never gonna happen.  Ever."  I tell them loudly as my voice grows stronger with rage.

"It can.  Hazel honey, you have to understand that there will be a day when you will have to move on.  It's been years, sweetie, years since the incident happened.  You'll have to face it, and unfortunately suffer through it all.  But then there will come a day when it's all over, you feel more relaxed and feel like you've moved on from it all.  It may continue to hurt you as time goes by, but it isn't constantly on your mind, you won't break down and constantly feel pain that often anymore.  You will stay calm and collected, and then not make a big deal about it as you had before..." she sighs, "Hazel honey, what I'm trying to say is that, that day is coming.  And you can't turn your back on it.  You will just have to accept it, as much as it still tears you apart, and go along with it.  Augustus would understand, I'm sure he would.  If he were in the situation you were in, he would think it would be best to push it behind him and keep moving forward.  He would want the best for you.  We would want the best for you.  And the best thing to do right now is to move on.  And understand.  He would and he did do it once before, sweetie, so you should to,"  she reaches for my hand to hold it, but I snatch it away from her immediately.

"No!  NO!  It's not that easy, mom!  Augustus had only moved on from Caroline Mathers because he admitted to me that he didn't even like her!  He just didn't want to break her heart!  That's it!  So he stayed with her, until...until she died.  But that was it!  Then he moved on like he planned to.  It's not that easy to move on from someone who's not in your life anymore if you love that person!  Mom, dad, I love him!"  I yell through my tears, "He made me feel like I was worth living!  He was the one who made me look foward to a new day every time I woke up in the morning!  He made me so happy!  I didn't feel like a crappy teen with crappy lung cancer when I was around him!  I felt normal!  I used to think I shouldn't have even been living for this long, but I have!  I thought there was nothing, nothing in the world, other than my parents to be worth the while living this long!  But then it all changed!  All because of him!  Then I felt that there was actually hope that I could live a decent life!"  I shout out them as my eyes struggle to fight against the tears, "And now you're telling me to move on?  Move on?!  After all I've been through, you want me to push it all away, and pretend none of this ever happened?!  Is that what you think is best for me?!  It's not!  It's not best for me!  You don't understand!  It's already hard enough for me to wake up every morning and forget that I have difficulty breathing every now and then, and that today might be my last day 'till God decides to take me.  And now you're telling me to get over with it?!  What... what is wrong with you?!"  I demand as I stare at her with burning red eyes and a furious fire battling inside of me.

"HAZEL!  Hazel Grace Lancaster, don't you dare speak to your mother like that!  That is very-"  my dad hollers back at me, though gets cut off when my mom speaks, "No!  No, stop!  Hazel, I know it's hard to go through this, but as I had said earlier, it has been years!-"

"So what?!  Does it really matter how long it's been?!  You don't even know how hard it is to go through it, you liar."  I scream to her face with all the might I can, "Just excuse me.", and I stand up from my seat and start towards the backyard, while I hear both my parents shouting my name.

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 I gaze up at the myriad stars twinkling above in the midnight-blue sky, and am able to see a few of the constellations.  Big Dipper, I think to myself while I stare up at the stars and continue to wipe dry tears off my face.  There's the Great Bear.  And then I come across a prodigious splotch of stars that don't quite seem to connect with each other, and I think, Maybe that could be my constellation, only I will know the name of it, or ever think it's a constellation.  What should I name it though?  I stare at it for a couple of seconds, and then I come up with it.  The name of the not-so-connected constellation.

"Gus."  I say aloud to myself.

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Hope you enjoyed this chapter, I had more fun with this one :).  And in case you didn't notice I like drama, which is why it may sound a bit dramatic to you :P (hehe).  Anyways, make sure to tap that vote button, and I'll see you all next week!