The Brooks Boys

Chapter Fourty Eight

The songs for this chapter are:

Panic! At the disco - New Perspective.

The 1975 - Sex.

~Beau's P.O.V~

I have no idea how I got here, but I'm here. On my bed, still in my clothes, hanging onto Ellie for dear life.

The strongest memory I hold from last night was being held in my brothers arms. Jai rocked me slowley, he told me I was 'okay'.

I have to say it is probably the worst memory I've had yet.

And also my best.

I know a hug is hardly anything to celebrate but twelve years I've been deprived of this. I've gone twelve whole years without an ounce of affection from any of my family members. And I have to say it was good to have a taste of what I'd been missing out on.

Yet despite my underprivileged childhood I still continue to travel down the same rocky road as my father and my father before him.

How could I be so stupid? So selfish to even think about reintroducing alcohol into my life. It was a good idea, don't get me wrong. In a perfect world it'd be acceptable for me to drown my problems in a gallon of vodka. It'd be a God damned stupid world, but a perfect one nonetheless.

But in our, not preferable, but felicitous world is a fucking stupid thing to do and I knew that. I knew of all the consequences drinking could cause me but I went for the easy way out as usual.

Yet here she lies. My angel. The beauty in the fact that she's actually still with me, rests within her. She's here willingly, it was her decision to stay the night and it didn't require any of my input. I know it sounds petit but nothing like that's ever happened to me. Ever.

"Beau?" Ellie's groggy voice whispers as she turns to face me.

"Yeah babe?" I coo gentley. Im not really sure of how much she knows about last night and exactly how pissed she is at me for it. I mean I told her to wait for me, stood her up, then manipulated my brother helping me.

"Look, I know it's early," she begins.

"It's eleven forty-five babe." I correct her, but the scowl on her face shows that she's not as amused as I am.

"E-erm. Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you look in the morning babe?" I smile. Trying to save myself.

"Shut up." Well I guess she's pissed.

"Sorry. I will." I mutter.

"You and I both know we're going to have to talk about what happened last night, so let's just do it now, while we're both too tired to care." She shrugs, giggling to herself a little.

"Well you know I make stupid decisions and I guess alcohol was the easiest way out of my problems at the time." I sit up and press my back against the head board.

"That's not how it works Beau. Drinking becomes it's own problem. It will never demolish yours." she mimics my position and folds her hand over mine.

"Not unless my obstacles consist of grape juice stains. Because I've heard a shot of brandy digs it right out." I chuckle to myself lightly.

"I'm serious Beau. What had been bothering you so much anyway?" She frowns. I obviously can't tell her that she's in fact the unintentional nucleus that connects to every single one of my issues because that happens to be my fault, not hers. So I'll just throw her the bare bones.

"Can't you see what's happening around you Ellie? I'm letting everybody down. I ruined our date, I threw a vase at Yolanda, not that I care about her but that's me letting my family down. I can't seem to stop doing the wrong thing. It frustrates me so much babe." I whine. I don't think anyone will ever understand how infuriating it is to have the inability to distinguish right from wrong.