A Home For Zoe

Pain (Edited)

Warning: Flashbacks include strong language.

"I remember what you told me,
I can't stop thinking about it."

Zoe

It was when I was staying at the Cooper's that I realized that I wasn't ever going to find a family to love me. It's his voice that reminds my how worthless I am, on my very worst ways.

"You worthless piece of shit. Get out of my way."

I tremble, trying my hardest to scramble out of Mr. Cooper's way. I spotted Mrs. Cooper standing in the doorway laughing. She doesn't care what he does to me. In fact, I think she actually enjoys my pain. Maybe she's just glad it's not her.

I don't know what I did wrong, I don't understand why he gets so angry. What I do know is I will never tell anyone what he does to me. Who'd believe me? Plus, if he found out I told, he'd probably kill me. I am afraid all of the time.

"If it weren't for the check we get every month to take care of your sorry ass, you would be out of here so quickly."

I nod, I've always known the Cooper's only keep me for the money. It still hurts though, no matter how many times I hear it, how long I've known. Every new person that looks me up and down and shakes their head, looking away. Every new person who doesn't love me. It shatters my heart a little more.

I feel Mr. Cooper's hand close over my arm and I scream. Please not again. Not again.

He brings his foot back slamming it into my side. I feel a sharp, shooting pain. "You worthless piece of shit, nobody will ever want you." Black flashes in front of my eyes.

A slap across the face. "This is all you deserve. You fucking worthless child. I should just get rid of you, you're barely worth the food we give you." Not that they give me much food, I think bitterly.

The punches to my gut come repeatedly; I think I hear a crack in my rib cage. I scream loudly, tears welling in my eyes.

After what seems like hours of him hitting me, he finally pulls away. "You're not even worth my time, you ugly piece of shit."

When he gone, I don't even have the energy to move.

I curl myself into a ball, my whole-body aching. My heart most of all. I sob, I want the pain to stop. I want to go home; I want to be safe.

But in my heart, I know Mr. Cooper's right, I'm a worthless piece of shit and I will never have a home because nobody in the whole world wants me. NOBODY wants me.

When I return to the present, I'm on the verge of tears. I hate it when the memories come. I hate it. I want so badly to forget, but on days like this I can't, or at least I don't know how.

Mr. Cooper destroyed what hope for my future I had left. He destroyed my trust, he destroyed my ability to love.