A Home For Zoe

Letting Go (In Editing)

"I love you because the entire world conspired to help me find you."

Zoe

Chloe pokes her head into my doorway, "Can I come in?"

I look up from my book and nod my head. Chloe sits down on the bed next to me, "So, um..."

"Alanna told you what happened?" I interject.

"Not exactly, I was in the twins room looking for something and I kinda overheard. Sorry."

"It's fine, Chloe."

She sighs, "I'm sorry that you felt that way. I'm sorry if we didn't make you feel welcome."

I shake my head at her, "It had nothing to do with any of you. I love it here, no-one has ever been this nice to me. I think that was the problem, I didn't want to like it here, because I thought eventually they'd send me away."

Chloe looks down at her hands, "I remember what that feels like, you know. I used to feel the same way, before I came here."

I nod, "I'm sorry about everything you have been though."

"Mom's right, we see you as a our family. I've always wanted a big sister."

I laugh, "Thanks, Chloe." And then she's hugging me.
___

I love having a family, I love feeling safe and happy. I still have moments of panic when I feel like they won't want me. It will hit me like a brick wall, the fear of being sent away.

It happens most often at school, "Look at the new girl," someone sneers from behind me, "Just because she gets a pity handout from Cason's family she thinks she's so cool."

I keep walking, if I ignore her maybe she'll go away. But her words sting. She's probably right, they don't really care about me, they just pity me. I'm so stupid to think otherwise.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my back, shoving me on to the ground. I'm sprawled face first on the floor, and laughter fills the hallway. Someone bends over and whispers in my ear, "They don't love you, they never will."

Tears sting my eyes as I pull myself into a sitting position and then onto my feet. As I pick up my scattered books someone joins me.

Even through my blurry eyes I can see it's Cason. He hands me back my books, catching a glimpse of the tears in my eyes. Gently he pulls me to him, hugging me tight. Even though my tears are making his shirt wet. "What happened, Zoe?"

I don't answer for a minute, then I say, "They said I was just a pity project, that your family doesn't want me, that they don't love me." I'm close to full out sobbing now.

"Hey. Hey. Don't cry. Don't listen to them, they don't know anything. Come on, it's the end of the day, let's go home."

I nod and Cason leads me out of school and to his Dad's car. When we get back to the house, I run upstairs to my room, where I stay by myself for the afternoon.
____

Around dinner time I hear a knock on the door. "Come in."

"Hi," Alanna says when she opens the door, "You ok?"

I think for a moment, "Yeah."

She smiles, "Good," she sits down next to me, "They're wrong."

I look at her, "I know, it doesn't make it hurt less."

"I know, I'm so sorry," she hugs me.

I'm just fine as long as I get to stay here, nothing is going to change that.