The Kidnapper's Wife

72. Before

"What do you mean you're going on an overnight hiking trip tonight?"

"I mean what I said, this has been on the calendar for weeks-"

"I don't care! I haven't seen you all week Connor! I barely even saw you last weekend! You've been tutoring Anna excessively, every single day! There have been nights I have fallen asleep before you have come home! We can talk about how unacceptable all of that is, but that's the problem isn't it? We can't talk about it if you're never here to discuss it!" I'm fuming, so angry I wouldn't be surprised if steam were coming out of my ears.

"I-"

"No! I'm putting my foot down. You are not going."

"Jade you know this is one of my commitments."

"Well pick and choose. Hiking, Anna, me, you can't have it all Connor. You literally do not have time for all of it. So you can either chose some of these little side activities, or you can choose your marriage. That choice is yours." I stare at him menacingly, daring him to make a wrong move. He looks conflicted, which makes me even angrier.

I spin on my heel and walk into the kitchen without another word, determined to take some of my anger out on the pound of dough waiting to be kneaded into homemade bread for my family's weekly visit tomorrow night.

Ever since learning about the baby, they've been insistent on helping get ready. They've been here painting the nursery, building furniture, decorating, and stocking up on supplies for the past few Saturday nights. I think they've got me beat to the nesting phase.

Connor follows me into the kitchen. "Jade be rational here, you love that I have hobbies."

I just glare at him, not trusting myself to speak at this point.

Finally, Connor sighs, defeated. "Fine. Fine I won't go. Are you happy now? I'll give-up the trip I've been looking forward to all week so that we can- what? Sit around and watch Netflix?"

I keep my voice dangerously steady as I respond. "So we can spend time together Connor. I don't care what we do. I don't care if we watch Netflix, go out to eat, take a hike, go for a drive. The point is I want to spend time with my husband. I hardly think thats too much for a wife to ask."

Connor drops his annoyance and looks a little more sheepish. "It's not too much to ask Jade it's jus the timing. It's not good."

"Well maybe you should have thought about that all week when you could have been home spending quality time with me, rather than Anna."

Connor looks at me incredulously. "Are you...you're not....are you jealous of Anna Jade?"

"Jealous of Anna! Of course I'm not jealous of Anna! What does that even mean? I think it's great you're spending so much time helping foster the youths of our community, regardless of my feelings on the youth in particular. I'm not jealous of Anna Connor, I'm jealous of every person who gets to spend time with you when I don't. Your boss at work, your buddies at the hiking club, you name it! I miss you. And I don't think I should have to force and coerce you into spending a few hours with me to fix that problem."

Connor looks abashed again and drops his eyes. "No, of course you shouldn't. I'm sorry Jade, you're right. I'm being irrational. I was just excited for camping. But you're right, I should have managed my time better if that was my priority."

I rinse my hands in the sink, scratching the flour off, and walk over to him, giving him a hug. "There's the Connor I know and love," I tease him, looking up at him as he plants a kiss on my lips.

"I'm sorry Jade. And I'm very excited to spend a night with you too, regardless of what we're doing. You're right again, all that matters is spending time together."

I look up at him again thoughtfully. "I was thinking....maybe we could do the chinese buffet like we used to. Get the early bird special at 4. And then maybe grab some happy hour drinks and catch a play at the theater downtown? Robin Hood is playing."

Connor seemed to have latched on to only two words. "At 4? Oh I don't know Jade....that's so...so early."

At first I'm genuinely confused, "Early? Don't you get off at 2:30 on Fridays?"

"Well...yeah...but I have..."

"Oh." it hits me like a pound of bricks. "You have Anna." Anna's name comes out of my mouth in a nasty sing song.

"Well, yeah I do normally tutor Anna on Fridays."

"On Fridays? Who are you kidding Connor. Everyday. You tutor Anna everyday. Surely for one day, she can survive without you."

"So I'm skipping hiking club and now you want me to give up tutoring too?" the annoyance is back.

"For one day? Yeah, Connor. Sorry but, I do."

"Why can't we just eat later, combine happy hour and dinner and then go to the show."

"Oh we could. But I'm asking for one day Connor. One day of your life that's about me. One day of not tutoring Anna. One weekend of not going to hiking club. One night of you and me and all the things we used to love to do together. And I have to fight tooth and nail for it. Why am I the only one fighting for this? Don't you still want to spend time with me? Don't you miss me?"

"Of course I- Jade I love you, you know I want to spend time with you."

"Do I?" I stare at him in contest, then shake my head slightly and turn away. "I'm done with this conversation Connor. Make your choices. Prioritize however you want. Just remember that you're choices have consequences." I rub my belly absently as I walk out of the kitchen, toward the stairs.

When I place my hand on the railing, another comes down on top of it. I turn and look into Connor's eyes.

"I'm sorry Jade. Again. How many times can I say it. Of course I will cancel tutoring. Of course I miss you. We haven't had a date night in who knows how many weeks. I've been neglecting our marriage, I've been neglecting you. That's going to change. Starting today."

I simply nod, and turn back to the stairs. "I hope so."