The Kidnapper's Wife

36. Before

I have never been so excited in my life. Not even on the day I graduated from law school.

I'm standing in a little room on the back of the cutest little church I've ever seen. The church is relatively small, and smack dab in the middle of endless corn fields. The church is surrounded by an adorable flower garden, with a gate enclosing the gardens and small cemetery.

A few hundred yards from the church are two giant tents, ready to hold the two hundred guests in attendance. Everything about the location is perfect.

And for the first time in weeks, I feel almost perfect. Ever since my bachelorette party, I've been feeling...off. At first, everyone was attentive and horrified and Connor kept asking me how I felt, and if I was okay. But after a week or two, everyone else moved on, and I could tell they expected me to move on too. But for me, it wasn't so easy.

When Connor would put his hands on my back, I felt the stranger's hands sliding down my thighs. When he'd pick me up to carry me to bed, I flashed back to that night, when he carried me out of the hotel.

It all seemed so stupid. Nothing had really even happened. But it was one of the first times in my life that I felt truly powerless, totally at the mercy of someone else, someone volatile. It was terrifying to feel so out of control, like there was nothing I could do to protect myself.

But now, today, when I held Connor's hand around the corner of the church to pray before the ceremony, I didn't even think of that night. I feel so wrapped up in the moment, in every moment, all of which are flying by so fast.

"Close your eyes one more time sweetie," the makeup artist taps me on the shoulder, pulling me out of my zoned out thoughts. Behind me, my bridesmaids, in their long, pale pink dresses, are having a mini dance party to "Love Story" by Taylor Swift, champagne sloshing out of the glasses I painted for them onto the tile floor. My mom is seated next to me, chatting with the makeup artist about her kids. Everyone is distracted for the moment. I try to just take it all in.

Our wedding is mostly attended by my friends and family. A few of Connor's buddies, coworkers, and the families whose children he tutors or mentors are here, but my extended family has flown in from out of town, and I have a large family.

Suddenly, Abby barrels into the room, "Five minute warning!" she calls out. Even though she's not a young child anymore, I wouldn't even consider the idea of anyone else being our flower girl, and she's dressed in an adorable white dress, already holding her basket of flower petals.

"Ahh!" shrieks Cara, "We have to get some pictures!"

For the next ten minutes, I'm corralled into a plurality of poses, until finally my Father enters the room and tells my bridesmaids that people are starting to think I'm standing Connor up.

As I wait outside the room with my dad, I wish I could freeze the moment forever.

He must notice my expression, because he leans over to whisper in my ear, "Jade, you look gorgeous. Now remember, you only get one wedding..."

I look at him, about to joke that he wasn't helping me feel better, when he continued, "But with the three photographers you hired, you'll have every moment on film so if you miss something, you can relive it over and over again!"

I laugh, and feel my face loosen up a bit. "Thanks Dad," I smile, "You always know how to release the tension."

He gives me a quick side hug, and then it's time. I manage not to trip down the aisle, not to awkwardly avoid eye contact with everyone beside me, and not to walk too fast or too slow, and that's because from the moment I step into the room, I only have eyes for Connor. Nothing else matters except staring into the eyes of my handsome soon to be husband and watching his face light up as he sees me walking towards him.

The ceremony passes in a blur, and the next thing I know I've made it through greeting all the tables, taken all the pictures, and I finally have time to dance with my friends to the music list Connor and I worked on for weeks.

I don't see Connor anywhere though, until suddenly he appears, walking across the dance floor towards me. I think his disarming smile is aimed at me, until I realize as he gets closer that he's actually looking over my head.

I turn, following his gaze, which lands on Abby and three of her girl friends, each demonstrating her own take on classic dance moves like the sprinkler on the edge of the dance floor. I match Connor's smile and turn back toward him, "They're adorable."

Connor starts, as if he forgot I was there, and looks down at me, his expression returning to an easy smile as quickly as it had disappeared into surprise. "They really are," he agrees, taking my hand and spinning me around a few times before dipping me down low, "But you're even cuter."

As he leans into kiss me I close my eyes, enjoying the song, the buzz of my friends and family around me, the feeling of Connor's strong hands on my back, and the thought of the two week honeymoon we were about to embark on. As we came out of the kiss I opened my eyes and looked into Connor's. "I love you so much."

"I love you too beautiful." he echoes, squeezing me into a quick hug as cameras flash around us.