Caffeine withdrawal

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(Tw: there's some meantion of self harm and relapsing.)

Yoongi sat listening to a track he had just finished. It sounds great and Yoongis so pleased to know each track sounds as good as he wanted them to. Yet, he can't help but feel there's something missing. He had a dream the other night of performing one of the songs, Tony Montana, but instead of performing it with Yankie, he performed it with Jimin. The lyrics were a bit different but to Yoongi the song still sounded phenomenal to him. It reminded him of when they were kids and Yoongi would play aimlessly on the piano and Jimin would always dance along while singing some random song. However another dream brought him to listening over the tracks. It was a rather random dream and Yoongi isn't sure what caused it but he had a dream of his song so far away being a collaboration with Jungkook and Seokjin. Never once has he thought of the two in a singing mind set but now he thinks they're missing an opportunity. If what he heard in his dream is the same in real life, they're both amazing and Yoongi really wants to make this dream a reality now. He wants both dreams to become a reality. He knows he's reaching far to even ask for those dreams to come true, but over the past week Yoongi has become more hopeful.

He could take a step closer to making those dreams a reality yet he finds himself sitting in his bed listening to the tracks of his mix tape. All he has to do is make one phone call yet for some reason he can't bring himself to do it. He keeps looking over at his phone, a voice screaming in his head to call the number. Yet he just goes back to listening to music. He sighs as the last track ends and he stares at his screen aimlessly. Looking at the clock he realizes he only has a few more hours before it's too late to call. He knows he needs to call yet his mind is so cloudy and empty. He doesn't know how long he can focus on anything. He may have been listening to his mixtape but in reality he was just spacing in and out of thought. Yoongi lazily picks up his phone and looks at his reflection in the black screen of the phone. He looks like mess with his hair disheveled and dark circles forming under his eyes. He's worked very hard this past week on finishing his mixtape, spending many nights staying up until early in the morning and barely ever stopping.

As to why he can't seem to be inspired to make his phone call, yoongi might know. He thinks it's because once he makes this phone call, if it goes well, he'll have to go back to Korea. He isn't sure if he's ready to go back there yet. It's driving him crazy, the fact that he's so willing to go back to music yet he can't find the will to return to Korea. Now that he's brought himself back into music he craves performing and letting the world hear his music again. He wants to bring himself back to that, but in order to do so he has to go back to Korea.

Korea holds his old friends, the people who probably hate him with a passion. It holds his old lover, the person he broke the heart of into a million pieces. It hold his mother who never spoke to after what happened. It holds all the horrible events in his life. Yet at the same time it holds all the wonderful things he's had in his life. It holds every first he's had with Taehyung. It has all his childhood stories with Jimin. It has all the late nights in the studio with Namjoon and Hoseok. It holds all the random talks about life with Jungkook. It has all the dad jokes Seokjin has told him, even if they were cringy. Sure they may hate him now but they still had great times together. Korea holds the Starbucks where it all began. That random coffee shop near the office Yoongi bought instead of an apartment. It's the place where life became good and carefree for the most part. For the first time, Yoongi is grateful for coffee.

Sighing once more Yoongi decides he's procrastinated enough. Turning on the phone and dialing the number he takes a deep breath as he wants for the person he's looking for to pick up. "Hello?" A voice  says on the other line. "Hello BangPD-nim, this is Min Yoongi." Yoongi says nervously. "You know Yoongi I was starting to think you were never going to take me up on the offer I gave you before you left." The older says like Yoongi hasn't been gone for almost a year. "Ah yes about that, I'd like to do something a tad bit different." "And what may that be?"