The Husband She Didn't Want

Chapter 19

  Jeon, took a deep breath and let it out. He tucked a strand of sweaty hair behind her ear.  Mi tried to move off him again but Jeon held firm to her.  "Come on Jeon, I'm sticky and I want to clean up.  Plus you've never stayed this long inside me afterwards, why?  What is it?"  Her sweet smile broke him.  It was now or never.

"I love you, Kim Mi Cha."

Mi shook her head and did a double take.  What did she just hear?  She needed to respond quickly or she feared Jeon would panic and retreat back into himself.

She held his gaze and he held her waiting for her to say something to him.  His brown eyes remained soft and full of emotions he'd never allowed anyone else to see.  She did what she thought she should do, she leaned into him and kissed him.  Tears, she was not sure if they were his or hers covered her cheeks.  His hand captured the back of her to hold her steady.  They said nothing.  He kissed her cheeks, her nose, her eyes and lastly her forehead.

As if what he said needed repeating he said it again.  "You know you crazy woman, you have blown into my life, wrecked it, confused me, torn me up, made me lose my head and my heart over you.  What am I gonna do with you?" He chuckled.  All Mi could do was smile at her husband as he poured his heart out to her as he had never done for anyone else.

"Damn it woman did you hear me?!  Isn't this what you've wanted all your life? Someone to love you?  Well, you crazy beautiful woman, I love you!  What do you think of that?!" He held fast to Mi but implored her to give him some type of response as he felt so exposed and vulnerable.

Mi cupped his face with little hands, her eyes were wet from the tears that she had shed already and she looked at her husband he reached for her.  "So much as happened Jeon.  We've come so far, been through so much.  We've said and done some hurtful things.  I regret them. I am so sorry." Mi dropped her hands from his face and dropped her hand as she felt shameful for her behaviour in her marriage.

She tried to move off him but his hold on her was still too strong and he put his hand under her chin to force her to look at him.  Jeon held her chin firmly so she couldn't look away from him.

"Firstly, when we went into this marriage you couldn't of known that we would end up here like this.  I'm not gonna sit here and lament over  this what's done is done. We can't undo that but we can go from here hmmm? A new start? Beginning? Only if you want that too.  Of course you don't have to say anything or if you aren't ready I understand I was a righteous asshole to you as well."  Jeon dropped his hand from Mi's chin when she continued to not give him any kind of response.  He also broke this intimate contact by finally pulling out of her and setting her back from him.  Mi winced and whined at the loss of close contact with her husband.

"I know I think I've said a few times before but I am sorry for being the asshole I've been to you and so cold and indifferent towards you, Mi.  If you want a divorce, I'll set you free.  Lord knows you deserve better than someone like me." Jeon reached behind him and put on his shorts and shirt and went to stand but Mi grabbed his arm.  "Wait, Jeon."  Mi finally broke her silence.

He turned to face her.  The light from the fireplace bathed her featured in a soft glow and her brown eyes sparkled softly at him.  She pulled him towards her.  "I don't hate you.  I hate what we've done to each other.  We've hurt each other from the beginning. I hurt you.  I cheated on you many times.  I regret it, I'm so sorry for that. I wish I could go back and undo it. My behaviour was deplorable. Your behaviour towards me was unforgivable so cold and unfeeling like I didn't matter to you.  We used and continued to use each other. " 

She pulled both Jeon's hands into her and held them tightly.  "You saved me from my druken father, from being raped by Do Ma and gave me a home that's something that I never had. I see how much you are trying, you have let me in little by little, showing me pieces of your heart that you have buried for so long and it makes me want to get to know you better.  You know my father lured me on the beach here and was just gonna let me get thrown away like some piece of trash like I didn't matter so I decided to kill myself but you stopped me.  You saved me."  Mi started to cry but continued.