Everything »mfz and jvo (discontinued)

chapter 11-Hold on

"WELL BY LEGAL MARRIAGE IT MAKES ME HER FATHER TOO AND I'LL SEND HER THERE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT" he shouts back

"NO ! NO YOU WON'T" i hear a sudden slap and thud and then run back to my room making sure i leave the door slightly ajar.

Mom runs out the door crying and Greg stands there in disbelief.

D-did he just hit her?!

***

I stand there by the door with my hands to my mouth to keep me from screaming. D-do i do something? anything ?

If i wasn't here, alive , then they wouldn't have fought over me , he wouldn't have hit her. it's all my fault

And with that I shut the door slowly enough for no one to wake up or hear it and then ran straight to my bathroom, making sure i locked it before hand. I grab Johnny's photograph, whether i wanted to forget him or not , he was my safe place. He is my safe place

I look through the drawers, desperately needing something to save me from blaming myself, from getting hurt , maybe i do need rehab..

I positioned myself into a ball and leaned against the bathtub, then listed a number and a name

"t-wo for Mom" i say digging the razor deeply into my thighs

"o-ne for Maddie" i whisper switching from my thighs to my wrists

"and o-one for Johnny" my voice begins to crack , the pain is becoming unberable but i can't scream i don't have it in me..

I drop the razor on the ground and start crying even harder than i was before. i held my phone to my heart on one specific contact

I rock myself repeatedly and repeated four words while i cried my heart and soul out

"It's all my fault"

*********************************

JOHNNY

I haven't spoken to Kenz since I last saw her at the hospital, I have no clue if she's come out , if she's had a clearence ..

I remove my hand from Sophia and I's intertwined hands and place them on my head scratching it slowly

"I'm happy with you , you make me happy John . Thank you" she says looking into my eyes and giving me a peck on the lips.

"It's late do you think we should call it a night?" i say diverting the conversation

"Y-yea sure" she hesitates slightly but agrees. I smile weakly and pull her in giving her a kiss and tucking her in, then i get off the bed and head for the door

"see you tomorrow love you"

"love you too" she says and with that I leave the room and her house.

i regret it ok. when i had to choose. i don't love her, but it'll break her if i say it to her. It wouldn't be fair on her it just wouldnt .

I drift off into the darkness placing my hands in my pockets , right now i don't wanna go home so i have no destination. Just then my phone vibrates and it's definately a text

unknown: i'm sorry for everything

i scratch my head again and think , who's this? it has to be between two girls that got their numbers deleted from my phone

me: not to be mean or rude but who's this ?

unknown: oh. you deleted my number. right dont worry about it im sorry i didn't know i meant that little to you

wait i think it's Nadia.. i'm guessing it is

me: Nadia?

unknown: i- no. i'm just gonna go

shit. Not Nadia then uh um oh no.

me: wait i'm sorry

*5 mins later*

me: hello? are you there? please forgive me

me: PLEASE

me: forgive me..

Read at 10:30pm

FML FML FML FML

i bang my head on the brick wall several times before continuing to run off into the darkness colapsing half way falling flat on my face, i break into tears and a car comes out the distance flashing it's headlights on me.

*NEXT DAY*

As soon as I wake up i remember last night's events and immediately pick up my cracked phone.

me: come on i know you read this

unknown: does it matter?

wow she answered pretty quick

me: i-um can i meet you ? today?

unknow: why should i even show up.

me: because i have all the right to ask that from you and you know what i mean.

unknow: .. fine. where?

me: down by the park at 11am

Read at 10:26am

This time I'll pick the right girl.

A/N: hai well i need your feedback so pm me or something yay THANKS FOR THE 797 VIEWS THAT'S INSANE

quote otd:

"No matter how you feel. Get up, show up and never give up!"