The Searching Secret

Chapter 30

"Where were you?" Jay asked lightly, as he pulled me towards him. He started to bring his lips to mine, but a slight turn of my head, caused him to kiss my cheek instead. The touch brought flashes of the night, before my mind. Jay's lips on my lips, on my neck. His hands touching me so softly and lovingly, and I just soaked it all in, encouraging it. How was I going to break the news to him after a night like that? "Everything okay?" he asked, when I didn't respond.

I forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, just went for a walk on the beach. Is that cup for me?" I asked, motioning to the untouched cup of coffee.

He looked at me for a moment, that seemed to last hours, before he finally answered with a nod, and handed the cup to me. He didn't break his gaze, as he placed his hand on my cheek and rubbed his thumb on my cheekbone. His love and happiness flowed through me stronger by his touch. Part of me wanted to just stay there, like that, with him. However, since my talk with Evan, the door that led to Sam was, once again, wide open.

Jay smiled at me and then, breaking the moment, turn to head back inside the room. "I was thinking, we should get leaving soon, so we have plenty of time to visit Layla," he said, once he was in the room. I followed in behind him and watched, as he started packing the last of his things in his bag. "We could probably get there early afternoon, if we leave here soon. You should go and get your things packed."

I knew I couldn't stand there quiet any longer. As much as it hurt, I finally spoke up. "I'm not going," I barely whispered.

However, Jay continued on, as if he hadn't heard me. "Maybe instead of rushing home, we could stay with Layla for a few days. Maybe we'll get lucky and there will be a few parties."

I tried again, a little louder this time, "I'm not going, Jay."

Jay paused for a moment, as I felt some confusion and doubt start to flow from him. Yet, he soon went on, as if I said nothing. "Or maybe we could make a whole adventure of our trip back. We could find out all the different places we could visit. Maybe spend a few days at each place and see all the different tourist attractions. It would be a great way to end the summer, before starting college in the fall."

"Jay," I tried again, but this time he refused to let me get in another word.

"Of course, you will have to apply to college as soon as possible. It might already be too late, but I bet my parents could pull some strings and get you into Stanford. We wouldn't be in the same classes, but just being there together would be awesome. We could get coffee together in between class. Oh! Maybe on our trip home, we can stop by, and I could give you a tour of the campus. You will love it there. . ."

"Jay!" I yelled now. I couldn't take it anymore. With every word he spoke, he was reminding me of the dream of the future I had.That was digging the knife deeper and deeper into my heart, which he was probably doing on purpose. He didn't want this to be easy. "I'm not going."

He just looked at me for a few minutes, which felt more like hours. Then, he finally said, "Well, we don't have to go to the same college. Of course you can go where ever you want to go. Hopefully it not too far, long distance can be tough, but if we have to-"

"No, Jay." I snapped, cutting him off. "I'm not leaving Miami!" At this point I had his attention. He didn't move. His eyes were locked on mine, as if he was waiting for some explanation, one that wasn't going to ruin this little dream he had be making for us. "I found Evan on the beach this morning. I am meeting him later today, and he is going to finally tell me the truth, about everything."

Jay continued to stand, unmoved. If it wasn't for the anger I could feel growing inside of him, I would have though he hadn't heard me. Soon, his nostrils started to flare, as he tried his best to get control of his anger. "No," he said, shaking his head. His jaw clenched, as he brought a hand through his hair.

"Jay, he can give me the answer to all my questions, like who really tired to kill me." When Jay didn't move or say a word I walked towards him and put my hand on his arm. Then, without thinking, I added, "He could tell me where Sam is."

"You have got to be kidding me!" he snapped, as he pushed my hand off of him, and storm to the door, which he proceed to kick. He was no longer able to hold back his jealous anger. "After a night like last night, how can you tell me you want to continue this wild good chase after a jerk who broke your heart!" He was walking back towards me now. His anger so strong it caused me to step back away from him, until my back was up against the wall. He was inches in front of me, when he slammed his hand against the wall beside me. "After everything that has happened and he is still the only one you care about," he continued, as he stormed off away from me. "You don't care about yourself. You obviously don't care about me!"

"That's not true!" I interjected.

"No!" he yelled. "I can't believe you are doing this. After everything! There is something between us, Riley. I know you feel it too and yet, your so ready to give it up for him! Argh!"

When he was finished yelling, he sat down on the bed with his back to me. I could feel he was still angry, but he was also deeply hurt. So, I tried yet again to make things better. I walked up behind him and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Stay with me, Jay. We can go see Evan, together. We can figure this all out, together."

"No!" he snapped again, brushing me off him and walking towards the door that connected our rooms. "I am done." He opened the door and turned back towards me.

"Jay. . " I said, trying my best to hold in a sob.

"I can't do this anymore," he said, as he grabbed a hold of me, and dragged me towards the door. "I am done allowing you to play games with me. I just can't do it any more!"

At this point there was no holding it back, a sob escaped past my lips. "Jay, please. . "

"This whole trip was a stupid idea and obviously a huge waste of time!" he pushed me through the door and stood on his side of it.

"Please," I whispered in between escaping sobs.

He shook his head. "I'm leaving, Riley, and you should come with me." He watch me, as I stood rooted in place. I raised a hand, in a useless attempt to wipe tears away from my face, yet made no movements toward him. How could I give up, when I was so close to everything I had been searching for. "That's what I thought," he said at last, and then slammed the door shut between us.

Unable to hold my cries back any longer, I threw myself onto my bed and cried. Between Jay's hurt and my hurt, Jay's anger and my own, I couldn't hold it back any longer. I used my pillow to muffle the sobs, but it didn't seem to do much good. I didn't want Jay to leave, especially after the time we had together over the past week. My hand slowly found it way to the heart necklace, and tightly grasped it. My tears continued to stream out of my eyes, soaking my pillow, until there were no tears left. With my eyes to heavy to keep open, I drifted into a restlest, sleep like state.

A/N

Hey guys. I am sorry I am turning into on of those people who aren't posted like they promised. So, since it is Christmastime, I will be posting an update at least once a day leading up to Christmas day. Want more than one post in a day? All that is needed is the required amount of people to answer my questions after each post! Simple as that.

Today's questions - What is your favorite thing about this time of year? (5 people answer for an extra update today!)