The Searching Secret

Chapter 11

"Finally, you're awake. Did you know waking you is like trying to wake the dead?" Jay joked.

I smiled softly, still half asleep and replied, "Do you really think I am beautiful when I'm sleeping?"

Jay smiled, "Almost as beautiful as you are when you first wake up."

Abruptly I threw the covers over my head. I suddenly didn't want Jay to see me with crazy bed hair and last night's makeup smeared on my face. I was embarrassed that he saw me like that at all, and now I wanted to just disappear out of his sight until I could make myself more presentable. What I didn't understand was it had never bothered me before how I looked around Jay. He had seen me plenty of times right after I woke up. Why should this morning be any different?

"What are you doing?" Jay asked with a laugh.

"Hiding," I mumbled from under the blanket.

This made Jay laugh even more. "What on earth are you hiding from?"

I shook my head refusing to let him know why I was hiding. It was too embarrassing already. After a few attempts to get the blanket off of me, Jay gave up and pulled the blanket over his head as well. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well, since you won't tell me, I can't fight whatever you are hiding from for you, so, instead, I'll hide with you," Jay answered.

I laughed and tried to push him out of the blanket, but he wouldn't budge.

"You better stop trying to push me out of here. I have to be here in case, whatever it is we are hiding from, comes. I have to protect you." Jay replied, trying very hard not to laugh.

"You're ridiculous," I said laughing.

"Me? I wasn't the one who hid under the blanket in the first place," Jay laughed back.

When the laughing died down, Jay asked, "Do remember when we made that blanket fort?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "What, you mean two years ago?"

Jay nodded, "It was a snow day; we spent the afternoon watching movies with everyone. It was after they all left for home."

I smiled as the memory floated through my head.

***

"This is the best fort ever, Ri. I promise you that." Jay laughed, as he took a handful of popcorn left over from the movie.

"More like the worst fort ever," I answered. "It's going to fall any minute." We had thrown some blankets over the sofa and the coffee table. There was barely enough room for us to sit under it. Yet, it was a moment we could pretend we were little kids again and forget the drama that was going on in our lives.

"That's okay. If it falls down, then we simply have to build it again. This time we could make it even better. You see, it falling down could be a good thing," Jay replied. "But don't worry; you don't have to be afraid."

"Afraid? Afraid of what?" I asked.

"If it falls down, I promise, I will protect you."

I laughed and threw a handful of popcorn at him. "You're going to protect me from some blankets and pillows?"

Jay looked at me and smiled. " . . . Or whatever else might come."

***

"I remember," I replied, finally looking back at Jay. The expression on his face was much more serious, as I felt his emotions change.

Jay looked back at me. "I don't think I've done such a great job at protecting you."

"Don't be silly. You kept me safe from all those terrible pillows and blankets when they came tumbling down. And you did a pretty good job protecting me from this one," I said, as I pulled the blanket off of us and sat up.

"Riley, that's not what I meant," Jay answered, as he sat up and looked at my side, where under my shirt was a scar. A scar that still bled in my dream. A scar that left so many questions, and was one of many scars Jay wished he could have kept from happening.

"I know," I said softly, as I looked away from him. I could feel the air between us changing. I didn't want to lose the moment we were having. When my eyes landed on the pillow next to me I had an idea. "But, Jay, you really should be careful with pillows and blankets. They can really be quite dangerous."

I answered his questioning look with a pillow in his face. He laughed and grabbed the other pillow returning my hit. After a few more minutes of attacking each other with our pillows we were breathless with laughter and finally called a truce. Jay's eyes locked on mine as we sat down next to each other. "Gosh, you really are beautiful," Jay said softly, as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear.

"I'm a mess," I replied, as I leaned my head into Jay's hand.

"No," Jay shook his head, "you are amazing."

I closed my eyes trying to let everything sink in, as his thumb lightly ran up and down my cheek. This moment with Jay was so perfect, so wonderful. I wanted to stay here forever, with him. I wanted to stay here and forget everything else. Forget this trip and forget my accident. I wanted to stay in our own little world. Jay's love for me was overflowing and it felt amazing. He wasn't holding anything back from me, so why should I hold back from him? I opened my eyes and looked right into his. "Jay, I..." I started but couldn't finish. I didn't know how to say anything that would come close to how I was feeling. Instead of speaking, I rested my forehead against his. This familiar closeness made him smile softly, which drew my attention to his lips. They were so close to mine and I couldn't help but wonder, again, how they would feel on mine now. How would it feel if I welcomed his kiss, desired it, even. Before I could stop myself I reached out and lightly traced my fingers around his lips. His eyes closed, but his heart was beating fast. He was anxious and nervous, but so much more excited and happy. He wanted this; did I? "Jay," I whispered.

"You are so gonna be late!" Layla yelled, as she approached the door causing me to quickly pull away from Jay. Jay's heart dropped. His emotions were everywhere. He was angry about the interruption and disappointed that the moment ended, but he was so hopeful we would have many more moments like this one and better. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked, as she looked back and forth between the two of us.

Before Jay could answer I said, "No, you are right, we are late. Let me just change and I'll be ready to go."

"Okay!" Layla said in her usual cheerful voice. "I'll see you downstairs!"

When she bounced off down the stairs I stood up to start getting my things together, but Jay grabbed my arm. "Riley, are you sure? We could probably stay another day. We did have a really late night." Last night after the party, Jay and I stayed up simply talking and learning new things about each other that amazingly we didn't know before. We talked until early in the morning when we could no longer keep our eyes open.

I knew Jay wanted more than anything to stay here. He wanted to call the rest of this trip off and a few minutes ago I may have let him. He wanted me to choose him then and there. Yet, there was something in me still urging me to continue. It would hurt Jay, but we couldn't just stay here in our own little world forever. "No," I replied, as I forced a smile, "we should get going. I'll just be a few minutes, okay? I'll meet you downstairs."

Jay let go of my arm and stood up. "Right. We must keep moving. I'll see you downstairs." He was trying so hard not to show how disappointed he was feeling, as he made his way out of the room. He didn't know that no matter how hard he tried to hide it, I would still know. I dropped my head and took my things into the bathroom, wondering if I made the right choice.

A/N Don't forget to share your thoughts in the comments! Also I wanted to let you all know, I have entered this story and The Knowing Secret in the Wattys so please show your love and vote! Thanks everyone!