Imbeciles! Fools! And Idiots

Death By Baozi

Later that day. Sima Yi ate one of the meat buns his wife made and continued to work. They tasted awful but he was so hungry he still devoured it anyway. It tasted kind grainy and a bit dry.

‘Hmm, Chunhua must being using whole grains in her cooking.’ Yi thought to himself, taking another bite out of a baozi.  

Then Sima Yi felt a rumbling in his intestines. “Oh, shit! I'm going to crap my pants!” Sima Yi exclaimed running to the bathroom.

~♥~

Sadly, Sima Yi sat on the toilet for half the day.  His family became worried. Except for Chunhua.

“How long has father been in there?” Sima Zhao asked, about to eat a baozi.

“For twelve hours. No need to be fearful, Zhao. Your father was constipated yesterday.” Chunhua acted nonchalantly like her husband sitting on the toilet for twelve hours was a normal occurrence. But inside she was laughing her homicidal psychotic ass off. ‘Heh, Heh. Happy Birthday to me! Ha, ha, ha!”

“Should we check on him to see if he's alright?”Shi inquired sitting at Sima Yi’s desk, placing the bowl of baozi on the desk.

“You know how your father is … Shi, don't eat that!” Chunhua slapped the dysentery inflicting baozi out of Shi’s hand and grabbed the bowl away from her children.

“Mother! I was gonna eat that.” Zhao cried.

“Oh, no. Zhao the baozi are bad do you want a tummy ache?” She asserted with a tone of inquistiveness. In her mind she was actually provoking him. ‘Yeah, you can eat that… If you want to crap your pants like your father. Go on eat it. Unless, you  love your mother's cooking that was cooked with motherly affection!”

“They didn't look bad to me.” Shi added, Shi found his mother's latest actions suspicious. Zhang Chunhua would never take food especially baozi away from Zhao. She would take baozi away from Shi and give it to little Zhao, though. Zhao was a fat kid growing up. She over nurtured Zhao to the point of excess. That's why he expects his mom to do everything for him. She even got him a girlfriend. Yuanji. The only friend he had was a kid named Jia Chong who was an oddity and liked to rip off the wings of butterflies amongst other things...

“Oh, yes they are. They have fungus on them.” Chunhua confided.

“They didn't have fungus on them. Come on, I'm starving.” Zhao complained.

“Zhao don't act like a peasant.” Chunhua scolded her son. With that Chunhua threw the bowl of baozi out of the window.

“I don't care. I'm going to check on father.” Sima Shi opened the bathroom door and gazed down at their limp father. He tried to ignore the stench and pushed his father on the shoulder with his claw gloved hand. “Father… Isn't responding… Awake you lout of a father!”

Their father was dead?

“Mother, Brother! Father is dead….” Shi cried out to his family.

Chunhua grunted, “He's probably sleeping.” She kicked Yi's body with her right foot.

“Mother! Don't kick Father!... He will blame me later!” Zhao said after his mom.

“Pish posh! He won't even know,Son.” She laughed a little.

🌈

“I should have never married a 15 year old psychopath… Hmph, Never thought I'd die in a pile of my own shit… DISGRACEFUL!” Busted the ghost of Sima Yi. Who looked over his own dead body.

“I always knew you were full of bullshit, Sima Yi.” Mocked the voice of another ghost.

“Xun Yu? Why are you still here? You died over 20 years ago!” Yi retorted then immediately.