Imbeciles! Fools! And Idiots

The Return Of The Promiscuous Strategist

(Author: I gave this some editing. Not much.)

"Today! We shall take over China in the name of penne-volence!" Jiang Wei said eating an expensive plate of penne pasta and meatballs. He addressed his zombie army.

The zombie of Liu Bei groaned and a slim blade went through the zombie's head. It was Liu Shan who appeared behind the zombie he slaughtered.

"Liu Shan! You killed your own father! How could you!?" Raved the crazed protege.

"Stop it! Jiang Wei!" Xing Cai demanded with her sword and shield in hand.

"Never bitch! I'm going to slaughter the Wei and Wu kingdoms with an unstoppable zombie army!" He took out his trident. "Zombi army! Imprison lord Liu Shan and lady Xing Cai!"

Bao Sanniang, Zhang Bao, Guan Xing, Yin Ping and Suo plopped down on the dirt from the sky in power ranger posses or Sailor Scout posses! Whatever.

"WE ARE THE DESCENDANTS AND WE SHALL PUNISH YOU!" They all said in unison and signature moves.

"Ah! You think so? Zombi! Kill all of these heretics!" His whole zombie horde faced the seven with hungry eyes and drooling mouths.

"Oh! Shit! Run! Everyone! Run!" The seven began to run for the safety of their own skins.

About a kilo later Yue Ying flew by on a giant dragon construct.

"Come up here! It's safe!" She called out to the descendants.

The seven jumped onto the back of the dragon and flew away from the zombi horde and to safety.

Liu Shan breathed heavily, "I never ran that fast in my life."

"Your cross country training has paid off, My lord." Xing Cai complimented him sitting Indian style.

Bao Sanniang groomed herself like a cat, "I have to clean myself."

Guan Suo looked at her with disgust. He wasn't going to kiss her now.

"It's almost sun rise! We have to get to a shaded place for Yin Ping." Guan Xing informed Yue Ying.

"It's okay, Brother. I special ordered this sun protection ring from the Vampire Diaries TV series and it works!" She showed him the fancy ring on her forth finger.

"We will eventually have to face the horde." Zhang Bao reminded his friends.

"At least this is not the golden horde." Laughed Yue Ying with a sarcastic tone unlike her.

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[Some chapters ago, After six.]

The ghost Sima Yi sighed. He walked in circles in his office waiting for something to happen. His plan against his wife failed cuz she was absolutely resistant to ghosts naturally. It made his revenge pointless. It was pointless in trying to communicate with his sons as well because they seemed to have inherited her resilience.

Having Wang Yi around made no difference either. All she would talk about is killing Ma Chao. Whenever she would banish him in the astral realm he would always show back up. Like that one cockroach that never seems to die even after you squish it.

Xun Yu, Guo Jia, and Jia Xu were boring. They did pointless things like astral poker, pool, darts and beer pong. This is what smart people do in the afterlife? Yi gave the thought of Zhuge Liang? What is the sleeping dragon doing in the afterlife?

One fact was true: Sima Yi absolutely hated being dead.

He decided to travel to the sleeping dragon's abode. That is why he disappeared for several chapters. From the gossip of the ghosts peasants Zhuge Liang moved back to Tian Providence to see if his brothers were still in the astral plane.