Imbeciles! Fools! And Idiots

Carnal Waters

[Chang Du, China, Shu estate. Guan Suo's room.]

"Little brother!"

Guan Suo woke up to see his big sister Guan Yin Ping sitting on the frame of his window. He shrieked and hid under his blanket. Her foot steps made the wood floor creek like banchees. She lifted the blanket off of him!

"Ahhhhh! Help! My dead sister is haunting me!" He cried out to whomever could have heard.

"I'm not going to hurt you! Suo! Why would I hurt my brother?" Yin Ping's red eyes flashed in the darkness.

"I haven't seen you in a long time... What happened?" His heart rate started to go back to normal.

"I became a vampire." She said sitting on the foot of his bed.

"A vampire?" Suo was clueless.

Bao Sanniang rushed in with her chainsaw yo-yo in hand. "Suo! Why did you call for help when it's only your sister?"

"My sister is a vampire! Sanniang!" He cried frightened damsel.

"A vampire?"

"Hi! Sanniang!" Yin Ping waved at her.

"How did you become a vampire? Yin Ping?" She took a closer look at the dark haired girl.

"It was after father died. I was stolen away by a vampire from Wu. He did horrible things to me and in the end I put a spear through his heart... Then a vampire couple gave me sanctuary... I decided to come back and see you all again." She explained without care.

"My poor sister." Suo hugged his undead sister.

"What is going on here? Suo?" Guan Xing came in with Zhang Bao.

"Our sister has returned!" Suo jumped into his brother's arms.

"Why doe's she look dead?" Zhang Bao exclaimed with an arm on Guan Xing's shoulder.

Liu Shan and Xing Cai were the last to answer the call, "What is going on here? Guan Suo?"

"Lord Liu Shan! It was nothing!" Guan Suo assured Liu Shan with a fake smile.

"I'm a vampire." Guan Yin Ping did the peace sign.

Liu Shan almost looks into the Guan girl's red eyes but Xing Cai grabs his attention, "Shall we have an other banquet? Liu Shan?"

"Yes,"

A out of the window a purple light grabs the attention of the descendants.

"What is going on outside?"

Below they see Jiang Wei chanting a spell. From the ground raises zombies. "Raise up! My army of undeath!"

"What the f#ck is he doing?" Guan Xing had mosiac put over his mouth.

"That awful smell is bothering me kitty senses!" Growled Bao Sanniang smothering Suos arm.

"Has Wei gone completely nuts?" Xing Cai stated the obvious.

"Seems so." Liu Shan covered his mouth.

"ZOMBIES!" Cried Yin Ping.

"Zombies? Why are we standing around here doing nothing!? We have to stop Jiang Wei..." Zhang Bao aimed for the door.

Xing Cai stopped him, "Jiang Wei wants to take over China by using zombies... It seems."

"We have to stop him! As you said sis! This is crazy!"

"I guess the Sima bros were right about Jiang Wei... He's insane!" Liu Shan claimed as the zombie of Liu Bei raised from the ground by the protege's command. "My asshole of a father! I will put him back in the ground... A second time!" Liu Shan grabbed his rapier and kicked the door open with his foot and walked out like a badass.