Lovebug ── PETER PARKER¹

06. Lost Cause

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         There was few things Luna Giraldo hated. She hated the feeling of wet rubber. She hated leaving the teabag in her tea. And she hated feeling inferior. Being in Mrs.Barry's classroom stood beside the smartest boy in their class while talking about needing his help again, Luna felt the lowest of low.

          It wasn't Peter's fault. But boy did she wish it was. She wanted someone to pin the blame on. Someone to make her think it wasn't her insecurities eating her alive, making her feel like she's of lower rank than everybody else around. Yet, it was all her. She was sure Peter didn't intend to make her feel bad, and because she refused to look at him, she would have known the hesitation wasn't because he didn't want to tutor her, but because he didn't know if he could.

          But those few seconds of hesitation was enough to make Luna feel sick to her stomach. Her thoughts were filled with excuses for Peter's lack of interest in her; maybe he thought she was a lost cause, or perhaps he didn't consider them friends like she did. The worst excuse to cross her mind was that he was somehow informed of the feelings she kept hidden from him, and that was enough to make her want to crawl into a hole and never escape.

         Luna paused once when she was around the corner from the biology class, leaning against the wall. A deep sigh left her lips, her shoulders dropping as she slumped against the wall. The feeling of embarrassment was still too present for her to dare and show her face at the cafeteria, the redness of her cheeks selling her out in an instant.

         Maybe she could tutor herself? They were in the era of technology, there was no way an online biology course wasn't available somewhere. At least those people couldn't judge her for her lack of knowledge, and they defintely didn't reveal enough of their personality for the girl to become infatuated with them. It was already a better option than being tutored by Peter Parker.

         "Luna?" Her previously slumped figure quickly stood up straight, mouth gaping at the boy in front of her. Had he seen her stare blankly ahead as she had an internal debate? Did he come after her? Or was God on a mission to put her through the worst misery of her life?

         Peter fell silent, taking in the girl's appearance for a moment. If any other person saw her, they'd think nothing of her appearance but Peter could see it. Her hair wasn't resting in waves on her shoulder, but instead tied up in a bun atop her head. Her outfits weren't nearly as coordinated as they once were, and her arm wasn't stacked with all sorts of bracelets. Her face lacked makeup, revealing the dark circles around her eyes. He could see Luna Giraldo was stressed.

         He wasn't all too sure about tutoring the girl again at first. He'd done it once and it went well, but still, her grades slowly depleted, meaning his tutoring wasn't as good as he thought it was. In fact, he was going to find her to suggest another tutor that could help her better than him. But something about her appearance made him lose his words.

          She mentioned she had rehearsals every day, that being the obvious reason she was stressed. Maybe he did need to tutor her. To make sure she had one less thing to stress about. To make sure she was okay. Because that's what friends did, right?

         "Peter." Her voice brought him out of his daze, a deep frown on her usually pink stained lips. She stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak.

          Peter coughed, scratching the back of his neck. "Right." He hoisted his bookbag a little higher on his shoulder. "I can tutor you again, if you want."

         His voice wasn't all that convincing, that was obvious for both of them. "It's okay, Pete," she sighed, beginning to walk in the direction of the cafeteria, knowing he'd follow. "We both know I'm a lost cause."

          Peter frowned; is that what she thought? Mrs.Barry said she was embarrassed, but he figured it'd been because she proposed an idea she couldn't follow through on. Not because of her grades. Though he only had one other class with the girl, he knew she was smart. Not only because she got into a school with such high standards, but because he saw it first hand.

          The month they spent together, sat across from one another in the library, they learned a lot more than just biology. He learned that Luna won an award in her previous school for earning the highest scores on her state exams. He also learned that her favorite subject was english, and that while she thought Shakespeare was overrated, she could recite almost all of Romeo and Juliet off the top of her head from the amount of times she performed it in her living room. He learned that she taught herself Spanish in 7th grade because the language was similar to Portugese, making her trilingual. Luna Giraldo was smart, even if she thought she wasn't.

          "That's what you think?" Peter blurted, quickening his steps to keep up with the girl. "That you're a lost cause?"

          Luna pursed her lips. "I don't think Peter–I know." She looked over to the boy, his frown now matching hers. "You tutored me once and I was doing good, then I started failing again. Clearly it's a sign."

          "It's okay to not understand something, you know," Peter started, and Luna immediately looked away. "Luna, you're one of the smartest people I know. Not understanding biology doesn't take that away. You're good at so many other things."

           Luna stopped in front of the cafeteria, unsure of what to say. She'd been told countless times that she shouldn't feel bad about not understanding, but it never seemed to effect her. She'd brush off the comment, continuing to wallow in self pity. Hearing it from people like Liz or Mia or Diana meant nothing, they were biased. They were people who wouldn't want to break her down anymore, they loved her, so how could she trust what they were saying was true? But Peter had no reason to be nice to her. He could have easily tore her down with one sentence, but instead used the sentence to attempt to bring her up.

           She turned back to Peter, hoping he didn't hear the loud thumping of her heart. "Can we start tomorrow?" She asked quietly, and a look of confusion flooded his features. "The tutoring? Can we start tomorrow? I sorta made plans with Liz and Mia today." He blinked, not expecting his rambling to work, but thanking the heavens that it did. He nodded in response to her question, and Luna smiled slightly. "You might need to attend my rehearsals though, hope you don't mind..."

          "Not at all," Peter shook his head, and Luna nodded. Silence fell upon the two, neither one sure how to end this little interaction. "So tomorrow then?"

          "Tomorrow." With that, they went their separate ways. Luna went to her table, and Peter went to his. He looked back at the girl before he sat down, Luna subconsciously doing the same thing, immediately looking away when they met eyes.

         "So." She turned back to see the excited expressions of Mia and Liz. "You walked here with Peter."