Bittersweet Perfection

Chapter Twenty

Two Weeks Later:

I had just finished cleaning up Logan’s and my room when he stumbled in through the door. He had been visiting his father. Tears were now streaming down his face, a haunted look in his eyes. I had never seen a guy cry like that.

I rushed over to Logan and hugged him, wrapping my arms around his waist. Logan laid his head on my shoulder and sobbed quietly as I held onto him. “I was there and he-” Logan managed in between sobs.

“Shush. I know; it’s okay. Come on,” I pulled him to the bed where we laid down and I hugged him, holding back my own tears. I hadn’t gotten to know John very well, but seeing Logan in that much pain made me hurt right along with him.

Eventually Logan cried himself out and fell asleep. I lay with him for a little while until the door cracked open and a little figure entered the room. I gestured her for her to be quiet, then slid out of the bed and walked Sadie outside of the room, shutting the door behind us slowly.

“Is something wrong?” She asked me softly. I bit my lip and knelt to her level.

“Well, your daddy is taking a vacation and he won’t be back for a while.” I started, not sure how to tell a kid her dad is dead.

“Where did he go?” She asked.   

  “He went to a place called Heaven. It’s beautiful there and he’s happy. You won’t be able to visit him for a while and Logan is really sad about that, but someday you can go there too.”

Sadie nodded, accepting my explanation, “Okay.”

“Good, now will you please tell Noah and Sam what happened?” Sadie nods and runs off to tell them while I returned to my sad husband.

The next couple of weeks were complete chaos. Logan had been easily agitated and depressed, leaving me to deal with Sadie and the funeral. Sam and Noah helped me out, but I was getting tired of Logan’s attitude. Of course I understood, but he was letting it rule his life.  Since the funeral he was acting worse than ever. He wouldn’t let anyone help him, not even me. I was starting to worry he might have some kind of depression.

Uncle Brian and Aunt Alice had finally got my parents to retreat. I had no idea how, but I planned on finding out. I wanted to go home, but I didn’t dare approach Logan about it while he was mourning.

There was also another problem at hand. I had been feeling sick lately. I had a feeling I knew what it was, but I was really hoping I was wrong. Now was not the time for this to be happening.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sam asked again.

I took a shaky breath, “Yes. I want to know. Hopefully it’ll come out negative.” Sam passed me the test and gave me an assuring smile and I closed the bathroom door between us.

Two minutes later I was going crazy. “Four out of five,” I muttered to Sam, holding my head in my hands, “This can’t be happening.”

Sam crouched down next to me, “That day at the mall you said you would be okay with this.” She was trying to be helpful, but it made me feel worse.

“That was before John died and Logan became all depressed. I can’t handle this now, he can’t,” I said uselessly.

Sam hugged me, “You can. And Logan can pull it together or he’s not worth it.”

“I love him,” I sobbed.

“Then tell him to man up.” Sam commanded and I knew she was right. It was time to get Logan out of his rut.