Run By Anxiety

A Proposal

Alex's POV ;)

It had to be today. I knew she'd be sleep deprived, and I'd banned her from coffee, so I knew she'd go along with what ever I said. She wouldn't be able to think well today.

It would be a little difficult to get used to, but an opportunity like this would never arise again. I quickly grabbed my phone and keys, then headed out the door. I'd meet her at work, so she'd have to remain civil.

On the ride there, I prayed that things would go smoothly and I'd get the answer I was looking for. I also prayed she wouldn't freak out and make a scene. This was meant to be more of a private affair.

The car ride was long and boring. Not nearly an hour, but it felt like three. It was silent the entire way there, unlike usual. I would often have music going; but not today. Today was different. Very serious, one might say.

I was so nervous at what she'd say. She'd know for sure that something was up! How was I going to be chill? Wait a minute. Why was I freaking out so much? It's just like the first time I asked her out...only completely different.

Oh what was I going to say to her? How would I word it? 'Oh Lord, please don't make me do this!' I pleaded, but to no avail. God knew I was supposed to do this. He knew I was nervous and worried, but His plan is perfect and I had to trust that He knew what He was doing.

I arrived at the library, where she worked, and parked. I turned off my car, but just sat there. Hoping and praying another option would present itself. After 15 minutes, I gave up and went in.

'I can do this,' I told myself. Now if only I could believe myself. Well, here goes nothing. I saw Maddie standing with her best friend Becca. They were talking, and I didn't want to interrupt.

"Hi Alex!" Becca's cherry voice called out. Oh no, I'd been spotted. Too late to turn around. "Um, hey." I scratched my head, not really knowing what to do. "Oh, do you want to talk to Maddie?" She giggled. I nodded awkwardly.

"Hey Alex, what's up?" She asked. I couldn't meet her eyes. I had 'guilty' written all over my face. Agh, help! I took her hands in mine, and started. "Um, Maddie... I-I wanted to ask you something..."