Ange (girlxgirl)

Chapter Three

She sits on the edge of the bed looking out the window and sighs. She closes her eyes and looks as if she is either praying or meditating for an answer of what to do about me. Katherine is 38, two years younger than my Dad, she is rather attractive and worked as a model when she was 18 til 30. Dad knew her from school days as an old friend and no, not that sort of friend. After 12 months of dating, they got married and Dad got over mum or at least that is how I feel it happened, even though deep down I know Dad doesn't love Katherine like Mum. Truth be told, Katherine is always extremely nice to me when I only tolerate her. She is always doing things to make me like her, buying me things that she thinks I will like, always taking me to music shops and fancy restaurants, she even loves me like I'm her own daughter. I feel guilty that I don't love Katherine like she were my mother, being pissed at her constantly is a lot easier then figuring out what to feel for her. I know that sometimes she thinks I'm so arrogant and headstrong that she wants to hit me. I can see that Katherine loves me and has empathy for me, but I don't think she understands that I will never get over the loss I have had to face so early in my life.

So, this morning when Katherine woke at 5 am to the words of "Nothings Going to Hurt You Baby" she must have got out of bed and stormed into my bedroom furiously. Usually she would have made an excuse for herself to think like, "Oh, her sleep is mucked up by the pills she takes" or "she is worried about school", little does she know, that I don't take my pills and I don't worry about school, I just hate it. As she came closer to my room she would have heard my footsteps running frantically around my room, trying to hid e evidence of pot and sleeplessness and realised that she isn't taking anymore of my shit.

A tear rolls down Katherine's cheek and she hastily rubs it, embarrassed by her display of emotions.

"Oh, Katherine don't cry." I try to coax, reaching out an arm and laying it on her shoulder.

"I'm not," she snaps, causing me to pull my arm back quickly. "I don't know what to do with you anymore. I've tried and tried and you haven't changed. I know you are going through a hard time and you are rebelling against everyone, but enough is enough. I'm sick of it." She straightens her back and holds her head still staring out the window into the magnificent mountain range, she turns and looks at me. "Why are you so difficult?"

Is it rhetorical? Am I suppose to answer?

I roll over onto my back and push the hair out of my face. I shrug. "I don't know," I sigh

Hot tears spring to my eyes, I'm determine not to cry. I think of happy memories like Mum, Carol and Emma, these only make me want to cry more. My eyes are stinging, but I can't cry in front of Katherine, I' determined not to.

"Well, I'm ringing your father. He will be annoyed, being in Europe and all." Katherine is trying to make me feel guilty, that doesn't work on me though.

"Ring him then, I'm sure he'll be delighted," I say sarcastically, I roll over and bury my face in the covers, holding in the waterworks. I fail, salty tears roll down my cheeks.

Katherine gets up and storms out the door, slamming it shut. The sound echoes in the house, it is no longer a home without Mum.