Ange (girlxgirl)

Chapter Thirty

The weekend was spent high on drugs. Weed and love, the latter the most dangerous of all drugs. I thought about the kiss so much that I began to think it didn't happen at all. When I got home of Friday, I collapsed on my bed and spaced out of reality. Mulling over my day and subconsciously running my fingers over my lips. My heart seemed to ache, it still does, I didn't think that heart ache was even a real thing. On Saturday, as soon as I woke up I rode Clyde up the mountains to a hut Dad made and got high, trying to think of everything other then Miss Winnett. On Sunday, I got drunk in my room and listened to all of my records. I came to a realisation that what I did was totally illegal and that Miss Winnett could be seen as a sick pedo.

My stomach is fluttering from butterflies as Katherine drives me to school. Anticipation to see Miss Winnett, but also nerves to see what she will say to me and act towards me. I worry that she will tell the principle or never speak to me again.

"Ange?" Katherine says loudly, glancing at me nervously.

I raise my eyebrows in question.

"Everything Ok?" She asks as she pulls into the car park.

"Yeah," I sigh, grabbing my bag.

"Are you sure, love? You haven't come out of your room much and you weren't even at home on Saturday. Plus it looks like you haven't slept in a year." When Katherine worries she tries to tuck her hair behind her ears, she is doing this now.

"I'm fine, just tired." I open the door and get out. "See you, then."

Katherine gives me one last worried glance before driving off.

On the path behind me I can hear the clicking of heels. I turn, expecting it to be an older teacher but instead I see it is Miss Winnett and heart rises in my chest. She is looking at the ground as she walks so she hasn't seen me, yet. She becomes level with me and I see my opportunity.

"Hey, Nat," I say, falling into stride with her.

She looks up surprised to see me and blushes slightly. "Don't call me that here!" She whispers, pointing to a couple of people standing 100 metres away.

"Sorry, didn't know they are all spies like me. Watching, waiting, listening, we are never safe," I whisper back.

She laughs half heartedly and turns to me suddenly, she isn't smiling. "Look... Ange... What happened on Friday, it was... I wasn't..." She stammer and sighs, looking at me for help.

"I get it. Sure. You are my teacher, 7 years older, also a woman. I don't know what happened to me and it certainty can't happen again." It breaks my heart to say these things, but it also is what she wants to hear.

She breaths a sigh of relief and continues walking with me. "Thank you," she smiles at me, making me happy. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I reply.

"What did it mean? I get it if it was a stupid thing, but if it did mean something I would appreciate you telling me." She stops again and looks at me, trying to see what my face is saying.

"No, it didn't mean anything. It happened and I don't know why. I like you as a friend and someone I can talk to, nothing more. It was probably all the wee- Wedding talk, you know gay marriage and shit." Fuck, I nearly just told my insanely beautifully teacher that I smoke an illegal drug.

She looks at me confused and I sigh, she probably already knows.

"It was probably all the weed," I say reluctantly. "You may as well know, especially since I've kissed you, you should know I smoke a fair bit of weed."

She smiles at me. "Yeah, everyone knows Ange," she states.

"Anyway, about the kiss. It didn't mean anything to me and probably not you either, right? I mean you had no choice, I just sorta did it." I can feel my heart scream as I say all these lies to her.

"Correct. It was a thing that happened and now we can move on."

We go back to walking in silence. I feel empty.

"So, pot?" She says, I see her smiling at me out the corner of my eye.

"I have been using it for ages, it just helps me and my brain do nothing. I'm always thinking and it helps me not."

"Far enough. I mean all genius' are stoners."

"Well, I'm not a genius," I say defiantly.

"Yeah, right."

"Cya, Nat." I whisper, turning into the library.

"Oi," she calls after me in mock anger.

I turn around and poke my tongue out at her.