Vengeance

Chapter Thirty Three

Chapter 33

Catharsis

I knew that I should be angry, furious. If this were a couple months ago, I would be tearing through the house, crying for Edward’s head on a silver plate. However, this time, it felt different—I felt different. While I was livid, there was a sense of finality in the air around me…almost as if I had expected this.

Did I? Have I been waiting for this to happen?

Everything that I had worked towards—the rebuilding of trust between Edward and me for Emily’s future—had been for nothing. Despite all the promises and vows Edward had made prior to leaving Seattle, he had betrayed me again.

The moments ticked by and I continued to stare at my own memorial page, wanting to feel something…anything.  I turned away from the computer, unable to bear the sight of my once-human face any longer, and began pacing. Refusing to let my newborn anxiety get to me, I began to focus on my breathing and movements.

Right foot…left foot...be careful of the weight distribution from one foot to the other…don’t move too fast.  

As I moved past the window, I glanced over and noticed Emmett acting like Godzilla and chasing Emily around. It was touching that he had taken to being an uncle so well. He always seemed like such a big kid himself, but when it came to Emily he never put his needs above hers. Of course, he had told me once that he was a big brother to seven sisters, so I was sure this was like second nature to him.

I turned away and was faced with crippling reality.  Edward had lied to me once again, and I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I could no longer stay. There was a freedom that accompanied this knowledge. There was no need to pretend anymore, no necessity to be shy or embarrassed. Of course, there was the understandable anxiety of the unknown future—what was supposed to happen next?

Should I confront Edward?

Just thinking about fighting Edward again was draining emotionally and mentally. I didn’t think I was up for round two with my husband, but that didn’t mean I was about to forgive him. In fact, I was starting to wonder if the squeamishness I’d felt around him these past couple of months was actually hate in disguise. If that were the case, what punishment could I inflict on him that would be comparable to death?

Emily squealed loudly from outside, and I had my answer.

Emily and I would leave him, vanish into the dust. There was no other way. However, there was a problem; Emily was still assaulting me daily with images of Jacob. I knew that there was absolutely no way I could continue to have her with me. She needed to go to a home where she’d be loved and happy. She had to go with Rosalie and Emmett. This would be my ultimate way of paying them back for all their support—I would give Rose what she always wanted.

I took a step towards the door, ready to bring them into the planning, when the computer chimed. The laptop was informing me that someone was attempting to contact me on my instant messenger. I found this a little strange, but figured that Tanya had logged back in to talk about what she had led me to discover.

I headed back to the laptop and inspected the message that I had received. It wasn’t from Tanya. In fact, it wasn’t from anyone that I knew. The screen name had been hidden, which I didn’t even think was possible, so all I saw was the message.

Pull out the top drawer in the red file cabinet.

My brow creased as I reread the short message again, curious as to who sent it. I gazed around the library, and, eventually, my gaze rested on a deep red file cabinet in the far corner. After a brief second of speculation, I crossed the room and stood in front of the object. With a deep breath, I pulled out the drawer, set it on the floor, and gazed into the space left behind.