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Chapter 26

   I was in bed when Chance made it home. You feeling better? Something like that, how was your day? It was ok, didn't have too much to do. How was your day? It was cool, went to my mom's house for a minute. What's this? I looked up and Chance was holding my prescription in his hand. I completely forgot I left it in the bathroom. Um, I said while sitting up. These wasn't in there before I left this morning. What are these for? It was going to kill me to tell the truth, but im pretty much caught right now. It's something we need to talk about, I said. What? I didn't know where to start or exactly how to say it. I kept saying to myself, just spit it out Kaydence. What's going on? I'm sure you going to be very upset and disappointed. About what? Um, I said while looking down. Um, what Kaydence? All I wanted to do was get up and run out the room. I'm not going to ask you again, what's going on? I um, I um. I had a... um. You had a what? Um, I said again while looking away. You had a what Kaydence? I had an um, um. I had a miscarriage. You what? I had a miscarriage baby. When?

For the last few days, I wasn't feeling too good. I was cramping a lot and bleeding more than normal. When you left for work this morning, I was cramping really bad. I went to the hospital to get it checked out and that's when they told me. Why you didn't tell me you were pregnant? I was kind of scared too honestly. Why? Different reasons, I guess. You made it clear you weren't ready for kids and I understand that. The fact we use protection a lot of times, I didn't want you to think I was cheating. Why would I think that? That's what I would think if the shoe was on the other foot. I got pregnant the week before we went to the resort. I could tell Chance was trying to calculate it up in his head. It was the night we went to the all-black affair. We both drunk a little too much. When we got home, we couldn't control ourselves. You didn't want to waste time putting a condom on, so we fucked without it. Ohhhh, that was a pretty awesome night. Yeah, it was. I forgot we didn't use protection that time. You were on the pill, right? Remember, I stopped taking the pill after we got married? It was making you gain weight and stuff, I remember. So, that's what the medicine is for? Yeah, to help for the pain. Baby, im so sorry. I couldn't believe Chance really believed my story. We did have unprotected sex that night, but we never finished. Chance ended up passing out before he even nutted. He drunk a little more than I did that night, so I could see how he don't fully remember everything.

How you feeling mentally? Um, im a little bummed. I know you didn't want kids right now, so I was scared to tell you. I'm your husband, you shouldn't have to be scared to tell me anything like that. It doesn't matter if im ready for kids or not. If it ends up happening for us, it just happens. I'm not going to be upset or disappointed. You're still my wife at the end of the day. I'll be more than happy and proud to have you as the mother of my child/children. I really thought you were going to be upset. No, I wasn't going to be upset. I would have been very happy actually. Really? Yes, why you seem so surprised? Like I said, I knew you didn't want kids right now. That's why we use protection to avoid that happening. Plus, I didn't want you to think I was cheating. I'll never betray you or our marriage like that. You wouldn't? Yes, why you say it like that? For a minute, I really thought you were cheating. What? You started acting strange, the things you tell me didn't add up to what your actions showed. Like when? Ok, before we left for the resort. What about it? When you came to Honest house from your mom's house. You said we needed to talk or whatever. You was all horny and what not. Why would you be that horny and as wet as you were if you were just leaving your mom's house? At the time, I was ovulating. You know how I am when im ovulating. I'm what? Always horny and always wet, Chance said. So, you should know that was why I so horny and I just had to have you. Another time, when you came home one day. You said you were going to take a shower. When you passed me, all I smelt was soap and your hair was wet. It wasn't an ounce of rain that day. I can see how that seems a little fishy, but I can explain.

After I left work that day, I did stop at my mom's house. My mom got the new Zumba game and she wanted me to try it out with her. I didn't go for my morning jog, so I said what the hell. Afterwards, I was stanky. My mom thought it wasn't a good idea I come home all sweaty and stanky. I took a shower at her house. She can't use the soap I use, and you know my skin is sensitive. I just took a quick little wash up and washed my hair. I didn't want to use too much of her soap and it break my skin out. I just used a palm amount and that was it. My skin started to itch while I was on the way home. That's why I took another shower when I got here. You really thought I had just came from fucking somebody? That's how it seemed, Chance said. I'm really offended right now. Like, im your wife Chance. I take my vows that I made to you in front of everybody very serious. You know what kind of marriage my mom and dad had. Why would I purposely make my marriage fail? I'm sorry I doubted you and your love for me. Stuff just didn't sit right, and you were doing things you normally don't do. That's called spicing up my marriage. I don't want you to get bored or I don't want our marriage to run its course. Every time you look at me I want you to say, damn that's my wife. I want you to fall in love with me every time you near me. I was willing to do whatever to keep our marriage going strong. If that meant fucking you on the side of the road, fucking you in my office, or sucking your dick in the car then that's what im willing to do. I love you more than anything and im grateful to have you as my husband. I wouldn't dare risk throwing all of that away for a few minutes of fun. I had to shed a few tears, so that he could really buy it. Baby, im really sorry I doubted you. Do you forgive me? I'm really hurt that you would doubt me like that. It's going to take some time for me to fully forgive you. I'm willing to do whatever, Chance said.

What you doing here? I feel like pure shit, Chance said. What you mean? She wasn't cheating, she never did. How you know? She told me. Really? She told you she wasn't cheating and never have, and you just fell for it? I know my wife, I know she wouldn't do that. Honest started laughing. Why would she sit here and tell me she cheated more than once and with more than one guy? Y'all were drinking, Honest. So, that don't mean shit. What mama used to say all the time about daddy? A drunk mind speaks a sober tongue, Honest and Chance said at the same time. Her ass was telling the truth, Honest said. She had a miscarriage. What? Yes, she was pregnant this whole time and she knew about it. She wouldn't be out here cheating knowing she's carry our child. I know for a fact, that is not her. I still think she was telling the truth. Well, I believe my wife and im going to let it go. What was the point of you coming to me about it if you wasn't going to do nothing? I came to you just like you come to me crying about Talen every other day. I know they fucked, I don't care what she is telling you. I'm letting it go, so I want you to let it go too. I don't want you saying nothing to her about none of this. I'll keep my mouth close. When you find out she was lying the whole time, don't call me.

I was in the bed when Blake called. I wasn't going to answer the phone, but it's Blake. What's up? Braxton here to see you. For what? I don't know, he just said he wanted to talk to you. I can't come in right now, give him the phone. Ok, hold on. Hey you! Hey, how are you? I'm doing ok, you? I'm better, Braxton said. I wanted to let you know, I went to visit Logan today. Really, that's great. How it go? It went good, better than I expected. What made you go see him? I kept thinking about his story and how got in the mess he in now. I honestly feel bad for him. It's going to take a lot of time to forgive him, but I can at least begin to get to know him. That's good, I said. I went through some of my parent things and I found my mom's journal. I was reading it and stuff. I read a lot of stuff that I never knew about. My mom knew about Logan's mom the whole time. What? She found out about her before she got pregnant. My dad told my mom he wasn't seeing her any more. My mom believed him, so she never knew about Logan. She thought they were done years before Logan was born. Wow! I feel really bad for him, Braxton said. I'm going to try to be there for him as much as possible. That's good, I said. I'm not going to hold you up too long. I just wanted to reach out to you and tell you that. Ok, have you a nice day. You too, Braxton said.