Lippa One Shots

No Feelings

I woke up one day wondering what felt different. But I couldn't find it. Nothing I seemed to do was working on having me find what was missing. Deciding nothing was helping, I went back to bed. Of course it woke up Pippa who was sound asleep when I had woken up earlier.

"What's wrong?" She yawned.

"Nothing. Just go back to sleep." I whispered to her. She nodded and curled up next to me in bed. Hugged up to my chest, I just laid there staring at the ceiling. I felt... Nothing... No love, no happy, no sad... Just... bland.... I pulled out my phone, turning down the brightness not to blind me or wake her up again and looked through things that would make me happy, but nothing. Absolutely nothing was working. I even tried watching things that would make me sad, but it wouldn't work.

After a while, everything seemed to wake up on its own, Pippa was in the kitchen cooking a meal for both of us. Tobi lounging on the couch, tired from her walk. I still hadn't felt anything, and it was beginning to show. I didn't want Pip to think I ran out of love for her, but my feelings weren't working.... My emotions were completely gone....

"Are you getting sick?" She asked while putting a hand on my forehead, then feeling my cheeks.

"I don't think so..." I frowned.

"You look pale... And you eyes look glossy... You might be." She said while setting a plate down in front of me. "Try eating and maybe we can just relax all day." She suggested. I agreed, hoping everything would eventually fix itself out soon...

~~~

Weeks had gone by. Nothing changed. I felt nothing. I could didn't want it to keep going, but I couldn't do anything about it.

"What are you saying?" She frowned.

"I'm saying I can't be with you... I don't... Feel anything anymore..." I sighed. I could see the tears form in her eyes, knowing I had broken her heart, I had to feel sad, but I couldn't. No emotion could be read from my face, but I could read hers.. "It really isn't you. It's me." I cringed at the words, but knew it was the truth.

"That's what they all say.." She whispered to herself before leaving.

That was the last time I had seen her.. Friends would come get her things, again I still felt nothing. I felt absolutely nothing. Her friends would yell at me for breaking her heart, then yell at me for not reacting to them. Things were hard, but I couldn't fix this. It was terrible.

I had gone years without seeing her again. I thought she had moved from the city, away from all the memories, until I saw her again. She was walking down the park path with a dog on a leash. She looked as if she had seen better days, but she looked happy. I missed happiness... A man had come up behind her, grabbing her waist and kissing her cheek. She laughed at his touch and looked back at him. She had found someone new... Someone who had his feelings. Someone who could feel things. I didn't know what had gone wrong with me, but I know I didn't like it. I had lost the one thing I truly cherished in life. And it was her. And here I was, watching her laugh with another man in her life.

But I guess that was how life worked sometimes. You fall out of love, fall out of happiness. Fall out of everything and begin to have no feeling in the world. Living life with feelings was hard enough, but living life without them, made it a hundred times harder than what it already was...