The Edge of Everything

Chapter Twenty Two

The ring was beautiful, it sparkled in the harsh lights of the hospital. The light cracked and splintered against the wall as I twisted my hand. It was a diamond cut ruby, surrounded by more diamonds. It was vintage, the band twisted into a beautiful display of braids. It fit perfectly on my finger and I knew Cassian had searched long and hard to find something like this. This wasn't man made. This ring had a story, a life before mine.

Even when I thought he hadn't, he had been listening to me. I used to tell him stories about black and white movies, about the things I loved and hated. I used to tell him about my mother's ring, the one my father had given to her from his grandmother. I told him that meant more than a diamond. A ring with a story, a ring that was passed down between generations was even more special than the others. Because it was the symbol of a love that created that line.

Cassian had been listening. He had been taking notes. I still didn't deserve him, but I made a promise sitting there in the hospital. I would never stop trying to be worthy of a male as patient and kind as my best friend.

Once the pain would less, the guilt set in. If I had only put him in jail he first time. If I had tried harder to keep him away. Once again my stupid pride, my stubbornness was the reason why this had all happened. I had been right when I told Azriel I didn't deserve to be happy. And Cassian didn't deserve to get hurt for loving me.

I wiped away a tear, staring at the doors waiting for someone to come out. I leaned my elbows on my knees, the nervous tick of it bouncing didn't bother me. I kept staring, willing someone to find me and give me information about his condition. But no one came to tell me anything. No nurses, not doctors came to reassure me that my best friend, the man I thought I'd call my husband, would be okay.

I looked down at my shaking hands and saw his blood. They were still covered, it was drying even over my ring. Cassian's blood. The blood I tried to stop from flowing out of him while he bled in the middle of the yard. After he asked me to marry him. After Tomas shot him.

I couldn't process it. I couldn't process the fact that this had actually happened. It had to be a bad dream. I had to wake up and find him beside me, the nightmare shattering around me. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't wake up. I couldn't shatter the nightmare.

Because somehow my worst fear had become reality.

Cassian's heart stopped in the ambulance. The young paramedic gasped, her eyes wide as she realized what had happened. He died, for a full minute he stopped being here with me. For sixty seconds I knew what it felt like to feel your soul cut in half.

When they restarted his heart I finally let out the breath I was holding. I knew in that minute I couldn't do this without him. He was the only person I could count on. The only person I had ever let myself need.

If he died I would be broken beyond repair. And Tomas knew that as well as I did.
That was why he went after me. He wanted to destroy Cassian, he wanted to take away the happiness we had found. By hurting me Cassian would be broken and so would Rey. He would be hurting our daughter, in a way he would never be able to fix. Tomas didn't think through his actions, he put a bullet in Cassian's chest.

He stopped his heart and mine in a single moment. It would've hurt less if I had been the one to get shot.

I had no concept of time. Hours, minutes, days could've passed and I didn't realize it. Time stopped for me as I waited to hear about the fate of my soul. I hadn't moved an inch in my chair when the waiting room doors opened and someone said my name. I looked up to find Mor and Azriel running in. Mor looked at me, her face streaked with black mascara. She looked at upset as I did. I let out a slow breath, but the tears wouldn't stop.