Sexual Frustrations

19. Drunk antics

The first week was definitely the hardest. Some days were better than others but overall the first week after giving up heroin nearly drove Carl insane. He was in so much pain, he was so agitated and angry one minute and then so incredibly down and sad the next. It was a roller coaster but after that first week he seemed to be managing much better, and an even better point, he'd actually made it through the first week without hitting up again. I stood by him throughout the whole thing, I was just so proud and happy that he actually wanted to make a difference.

By the time the second week rolled around Carl and I were just hanging out again. I almost forgot that I was visiting him everyday to help keep him on track and we started just hanging out like old times. Sometimes he'd be having a bad day, craving so intensely and it often ended in yelling matches between the two of us but we were fine the next day. The main thing was that Carl was trying and he'd been sober for 2 weeks, which was the longest since his addiction starting.

"Guess what?" He said. We were both just laying on the couch at Lips house watching shitty reality tv shows.

"What?"

"Fiona's throwing a party tonight." The memories of their old house parties flew through my mind and I couldn't help but smile and welcome the nostalgic feelings.

"Like old times?" I grinned and he laughed at my response indicated yes was the answer. "Why though?"

"I don't know she made up some bullshit reason but I think it's got something to do with my newfound sobriety." He sighed. Saying that Fiona was happy was a gross understatement. When I told her about Carl's progress and how I was helping him get back on track she was too excited for words, she was finally getting her baby brother back. Although the mention of Carl's sobriety sparked alarm bells in my mind, their house parties were far from drug and alcohol free.

"Is that the best idea given the fact that there will be alcohol there. I actually read somewhere that people believe complete abstinence from all drugs is the best way to keep clea-"

"I don't plan on drinking." Carl interrupted what would have turned into me blabbering on about some research I'd done about recovery from addiction. I'd spent all of my free time on the internet and Carl must've been sick of my constant theories and statistics.

"Oh okay. Will you be alright?" I didn't want to make him uncomfortable too soon.

"Ava, relax. I got this."

...

I had some major mixed feelings about this party Fiona was throwing. On one hand I was nervous for Carl, he was doing so well with staying sober and I didn't want anything to screw that up for him. On the other hand, party situations always put Carl and I in...interesting moods. I guess I may as well just stay we stick together like glue, which is fun but also given the current status of our relationship (strictly friends) would no doubt turn messy. But of course I was going to go, I couldn't help myself.

When I turned up Fiona and V were dancing away like they always do, Ian was there with Mickey, Lip and Carl. Before I even got the chance to glance over Carl I was swept off my feet by my favourite Milkovich.

"Where the fuck have you been." He said with his big bear hug.

"Around Mikey. How's things?" I laughed once I could actually breathe again.

"Sam e shit different day kiddo. What's the go with you and drug lord over there?" He asked gesturing to Carl.

"Nothing just been good being friends again." I answered honestly...right? 

....

Honestly I got pretty drunk pretty quick and it wasn't long before Fiona and V had a third dance partner. Although my coordination was probably no where near as good, I didn't care. I hadnt really seen or spoken to Carl much since we'd gotten there, we both floated our different ways mingling with people. But when we met up again it was outside the bathroom and I was significantly drunker than a few hours ago.

"How you doin?" He smirked at me as I stumbled out of the bathroom, feeling the effects of the alcohol even more.

"What's up with you catching me in bathrooms?" I asked remembering the time in the club then cringing at the memory.

"What can I say? I'm a bathroom guy." He shrugged and earning a laugh.

"We never fucked in the bathroom." I said shamelessly.

"I can change that." He winked and I tried my hardest to ignore those pesky stomach butterflies. I knew I had to change the topic of conversation quick before my drunk mind could wonder.

"How are you doing tonight?" I leant against the wall to sturdy myself. I felt silly having a half serious conversation while swaying about the place.

"With my sobriety?" He clarified and I nodded. "Fine, haven't touched a single drop and I feel fine." He nodded and the overwhelming sense of pride I was experiencing was hard to suppress while drunk.

"Carl that is so amazing. You are amazing. You have done such a good job and you should be so proud..." I was rambling on which suddenly came to a stop when I felt his hand fall on my hip and him move closer, making me lose any train of thought I had going. My mind was spinning and so was the room but I could sure as hell feel the heat from his hand on my hip and the closeness of his face to mine and smell him. I didn't know if the alcohol was going to make me pass out or he would but I had to at least try and control the sexual tension build up I felt inside me.

"Carl-" I breathed but he hushed me with his finger to my lips. Why could we not just stay how we were. Why was this the direction things would always turn with us.

"I'm not going to do anything." He said, his voice deeper and harsher, causing my stomach to flutter. "But I just want you to know..." he moved closer to my ear where his breath gently fanned across my neck. "I want you so fucking bad."

And that was the last thing I remembered of that night.

....
I am SOO sorry for such a late late update oh my god things have been so crazy lately and writers block and god knows everything else! But here is a quick little update and I promise more to come way sooner. Lots of love xoxoxo