Sexual Frustrations

22. A messy string of maybes

Yeah you could say Carl had me pretty flustered in that water. And yeah I guess you could also say I'd finally admitted to myself I still wanted him as badly as I did 3 years ago, maybe even more. So maybe it felt good to admit that to myself, but maybe it made me even more nervous for how things would be between us. We'd finally gotten to a point where there was no longer any residual anger for our previous relationship, we were friends and our friendship was probably the healthiest it had ever been. But maybe this was a good thing. I mean, I was aware of how I felt. I knew I wanted him really badly in dirty ways but I also knew that I wanted him as my friend again. Carl had promised he wouldn't touch me or kiss me until I asked him to, so maybe this was good for me. I know he meant to tease me because he knew how embarrassed I got when having to ask for sexual things but this could work in my favour. I just wouldn't ask Carl to do anything, so he won't. I won't have to try and resist his moves towards me because I know they won't get too far anymore. Maybe this could save our friendship and maybe this could help me get over this weird sexual frustration I felt towards him

Or maybe my life had just become a messy string of maybes.

...

The car ride home was spent in a comfortable silence which allowed me to think over the situation I found myself in. Carl was deep in thought too but I couldn't quite tell what about. Something wasn't right on his expression. I knew him well enough to know when something was bothering him. I didn't want to press the matter and ruin the day we'd had together though, things were getting back on track and i had finally forgotten about what happened the night before.

"Wanna come for dinner, I think Fiona invited Kev and V?" Carl's voice distracted me from my thoughts.

"Yeah sure, can we swing past Lips first so I can shower and change?" I laughed as the water had soaked through all of my clothes and my hair was a mess.

"No worries."

....

I half expected Carl to just drop me off but instead he came in and was happy to wait while I got ready.

"I can't believe you chose to stay with Lip." Carl blurted out as we walked through the empty kitchen. Lip was either already at Fiona's or still working. Maybe this was what he was deeply thinking about in the car?

"I didn't really have a choice." I laughed.

"You could have stayed with us." Carl shrugged and my heart almost warmed at his suggestion.

"It was pretty last minute, I didn't want to just invite myself." I explained thinking back to that night when Lip called me. God that was so stressful but it was pretty cool to see how far we'd come. I don't think I expected it to get back to this.

"Fiona wouldn't have cared."

"It wasn't Fiona I was worried about." I answered honestly. Carl looked at me and didn't press the matter any further. He knew I was right. If I was in their house it would have been way too overwhelming for the both of us. Plus he needed time to be angry at me.

I decided to quickly check my emails and sure enough I had one from work. I had nearly been gone a month but the time had flown my so quickly I hadn't even thought about when I'd be going home. My excuse for a deceased family member was sure to run its course soon enough.
I sent through a quick email back and made up some more bullshit about a delayed funeral and struggling family members to extend my time just a little bit more. I wasn't ready to leave yet.

Not wanting to deal with that problem I excused myself to the bathroom and left Carl on the couch.

...

I got a shock when I looked in the mirror, I was a mess. My hair all over the place, my face flushed from the sun. I was so glad we'd decided to stop here before going to Fiona's for dinner.

I stepped into the shower feeling the relief along with the hot water pouring over me. It felt good to just stand there and completely relax. Things had been so up and down since I'd been here and I finally felt like maybe they'd come to a close. Things had settled and I was happy. Sure there was no denying I was intensely attracted to Carl but we were going to be fine as friends. It was just some sexual frustration but I could get over that. No big deal. Carl was now on the road to a drug free life and he was doing well. So maybe that meant my stay here would be coming to a close. I didn't really want to think about that just yet. Things were going too well for me to let them be ruined.

Suddenly I got the fright of my life when the shower door swung open, jump starting my heart and bringing me back to reality.

"FUCKING HELL YOU SCARED ME." I screamed in fright at Carl who was standing in front of the shower door which was now wide open. I was too busy focusing on slowing down my panicked heart to remember the fact that I was naked and he was just standing there.

"I need to tell you something!" He said with a stern loud voice. He was on a mission and looked like he desperately needed to get something off his chest but his timing could be better.

"What is it?" I prompted him. Suddenly his eyes grew darker and I saw them slowly rake down my body. The realisation hit me that I was currently naked in the fucking shower and he was just staring at me. My skin prickled at his gaze but my confusion at the situation took over.

"Fuck the promises." He groaned before taking one long stride into the shower, grabbing my face, and kissing me with intense force.

...

Super early update for me but I was too excited about this chapter to wait to post!
Thoughts please guys last chapter got a pretty good response so i am pretty excited to hear what you guys thing xoxoxo