𝕯𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝖒𝖊 || 𝖏.𝖏𝖐

ch 20.|| understand

July 2, 2018 - the concert

Laughter filled the room in blissful intermissions. Jungkook and I lay sprawled out on my mattress my chest heaving from laughter due to a joke that Taehyung and Hoseok has just made . It was the day of the concert and As of a couple days beforehand I was officially deemed unable to train, so to put it simply 'I was banned'.

It was Safe to say that the swelling wasn't going down and so it made it nearly impossible due to the excruciating pain that came with moving for me to set foot in the practice room let alone the dance floor- but I did it anyway.

I Snuck in
Got caught
Got scolded 
— repeat etc etc

For this day In particularly, I was relying simply on my memory and the choreography that I had learned two weeks prior. Since I couldn't practice that was what I was going to have to work with and in honesty it was enough .

I had it learned, I had the medication Ingested and I was ready to walk on stage, centre front for what could be the very last time of my short lived musical career.

That was the day that I said goodbye.
-

"Y/n are you sure you're ready for tonight ?" Hoseok questioned.

"I was born ready dude" he scoffed at my response making small weird hand gestures to accompany his actions ( because he's amazing)

"Sure sure whatever you say y/n" Taehyung proceeded to drag his elder out of the room signaling for Jungkook and I to hurry up because our makeup artist aka f/n was growing impatient.

"Cmon kook lets go"

I jumped off the bed, threw my hoodie on and proceeded to push my hair up into some sort of uprooted bun thing.

"Y/n-ah come on let's just stay tonight okay we can just stay here"he suggested almost whining.

"Yeah nope cmon kookie everyones waiting"I replied ruffling  his hair in the process before letting go.

I'm not gonna lie I looked 'sick'. I had no colour in my face again and I looked drained all the time. I couldn't help it but I didn't want to let it stop me. I wouldn't and Jungkook knew very well that I still didn't want to talk about the whole 'thing' but still did just that.

I was just about to walk out when he grabbed my arm . For the last few days his eyes showed nothing but grief and fake happiness.
'Don't fucking do it' I said to myself but to no no avail .

"Don't go okay Kajima please" I stopped and turned to look at him.

"Jungkook-," I couldn't understand him when he got like this because I told him not to bring it up - I told him but he was relentless

"Look I know you tell me not to intervene And I know you tell me to stop talking about it the moment I bring it up but you're not well enough to perform so y/n I'm asking you- don't. stop putting off the stupid fucking surgery and get better it's dangerous !" I shut my eyes and pulled my hand away from his grip.

"It's not that simple Kook" - I hissed in objection already annoyed.

"Y/n!" he shouted causing me to flinch. He was mad and he had every right to be he had been holding off on shouting at me for a while now and .. If the tables were turned I would have been mad too .

"Jungkook please!" I interrupted.

"I've been waiting for this concert for the entire year! This is it okay ? This is my last chance!After this everything's going to go to god damn shit and there will be nothing that I can do about it!" I cried and I knew that we were about to start a fight but i was too caught up in the moment to realize how fighting with Jungkook was the last thing I needed to do.