𝕯𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝖒𝖊 || 𝖏.𝖏𝖐

ch 17.|| softly

8 months , 2 weeks later.

*flash* *flash* "Chanyeol ,Y/n !! do shed some light on the subject please !!"

"y/n ! how do you feel knowing that Jungkook is back?!"

"Chanyeol ! what are you
going to do now tha -"

Crowds were forming and the lights that were being emitted from the cameras were enough to blind me momentarily. Questions were being thrown out left right and centre and my ears were starting to burn aswell as my heart .

Next thing i know Chanyeol was shouting at the herd of paparazzi who were blocking our way startling them and me . It had been that way for the last two weeks ,ever since bangtan came back...

Ever since i started getting soft again,

my walls were breaking slowly and everything was getting to me .

i masked my suffering well so nobody could tell if i was unhappy, unwell, in pain, upset, heartbroken or all of the afformentioned but that month was particularly hard .

It wasn't because of all that but because i could feel my illness getting worse , i promised mom i'd ask for help when i knew it was time and at that point i knew that ,that 'time' wasn't that far away and it scared me . To top it all off Jungkook and i were friends again and that killed me because no matter how much i tried to convince myself that it didn't matter , it did.

he cheated on me and i was genuinely still hurt ,

Although his company alone made me feel better, it made my heart burn ,because.. i knew that he was something, someone that i couldn't want so we stuck to 'friends' especially after the night we got drunk together,,

despite my sudden reconciliation with Jungkook and the fact that i was glad that we could talk again , i still kept my distance to a point .

to a 'point' meaning that i never let him see me on my bad days ,those days being when i was pale ,out of it , and mostly unconscious and sweating in my room.

On those days only Claire was allowed to see me ,she had to take care of me after all \\ without letting Jin know. Chanyeol always stayed close but not too close because he knew i didn't want him to see me like that . Not in the state i was in . If the way i was continued then i would've been in the hospital in less than a month.

The day i broke out in a cold sweat while sleeping was the day i knew that reality was becoming realer. Everyone had noticed how pale i had become that morning and so i spent the rest of the day clutching my stomach,heaving down pills and shivering in Claire and Chanyeol's arms. We were the inseperable trifecta and that was the only time that i let him see me that way because after that he never asked again. It was too much for even him to watch me writhe in pain.

'But..if Jungkook were to find out i was sick ... despite our lack of communication, i still know him well enough to understand that even if he isn't mine anymore, he still cares, he has a big heart after all but i also know that he would be angry and sad and so , i'd hate myself for letting him see how weak and destroyed i am'

all these thoughts rushed through my head before i focused back in on reality.

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP NOW!"
Chanyeols voice thundered through the crowd and then next thing i know i'm being ushered into the studio where all the kpop acts were gathering . Everyone had just flown in from wherever their individual tours were taking place a couple weeks ago.

This was the first time that everyone was in the same room together Exo, Bts, Blackpink, Twice, Momoland, Red Velvet, Btob and Wanna one that were touring with Seventeen and Stray kids .