Story of You & Me

Us (Fighting Together)

Tuesday
1st of Dec

Dear You,

Two weeks in chemo and I noticed some changes in me. I'm cold from light winds, my weight and appetite are decreasing and I tired easily.

I willed myself to finished the assignments that I've missed last Friday at the library during lunch. I ate an apple because I don't feel like eating anything.

You came and surprised me by bringing food to the table. "I know you didn't eat yet because you are not at the canteen so I invited myself to eat with you today." You put all of the foods in front of us and I laughed at what you bring.

"Is this allowed in here? Can we finish all of these in time? Its as if you bring all the canteen has to offer!" I looked at you and I caught you looking at me lovingly. I gulped invisible air and pick up a sandwich to have something to do.

"Yep, its allowed coz I asked the permission from Ms. Mitchell. As long as we tidy it up after and no crumbs in the books then we are okay. So let's eat." We eat all of the food (mostly you) and I continue to answer all my assignments and sometimes bite at the sandwich. We continued in companionable silence until the bell rang and you walked me to my next class, bid me goodbye and remind me of our 'date' after class.

After all the classes I found myself sitting in your car going to the park. I don't know what to expect so I just let you guide me. We sat at an empty bench and you put all the food that you buy in front of us.

"Are you cold?" You must have noticed my action as I rubbed my arms constantly. "Here, wear this." You take off your hoodie and my protest was cut short when you put your hoodie in my head.

"I can wear it myself you know," I said playfully and you just laugh. My God, I love the sound of his voice.

"So can you tell me about yourself? It's unfair that you know all about me and I don't even know yours." I said to you while munching some doughnut.

"Well, I'm Gabriel Ethan Winters. Born on the 27th of this month. My father is Matthew Winters and is into real estate, my mom is Mary Kay who's a doctor." You looked at me and I just rolled my eyes which earned a chuckle from you. "I have a sister name Sabella who is 9 years old. I love swimming and I do sports but not much. What else?" You put your hand on your jaw as if thinking which is so cute by the way. "My best friends are Steve Harper and Louis Thompson."

"What about your hobbies?"

"I love to swim at the pool during free time, listen to music and read if I have time." I nodded my head and I contemplated whether to asked you 'the' question.

"Uhm, when you- you told me yest-" I stopped mid-sentence because I felt awkward.

"That I like you a lot? It's true though." You looked into me and I know you are being honest.

"Oh.. If we are being honest here, I had- have a crush in you since primary years? I don't know when it started but one day I just smile whenever I see you at school. I came to the conclusion that my feeling may not be reciprocated as you being in the IT crowd while I'm just me, the average girl around the school. And with my situation -living in an orphanage among other things, its as if being 'us' is so farfetched. How much more with my condition now -an orphan with cancer living in an orphanage." I ducked my head as my hair serves as a curtain to hide my face.

"No. Don't say that Rae. Please don't think like that." You pleaded.

"It's true though. I know one of my prayers where answered, that is, to get to know you and maybe my feelings to you will be known but with my situation now, I think my prayer was answered at the wrong time. I don't want you to see me like this. That maybe I can't be with you for long, that I can one day die-" A tear escaped from my eyes as the images came into my head.

"Babe, don't say that, please. It's not bad that I get to know you when you're battling with this illness. In fact, I'm happy that I'll be given a chance to be with you and I can help you with anything that I can and we will battle this together. You and I. You don't need to face this alone. Did you know that when I visited you when you had that accident, it was just my excuse to see you? When I heard the news that you got into an accident, I cried because I'm afraid for you." You cupped my face and wiped my tears with your thumbs. I shake my head.

"If I give 'us' a chance,  what would your parents say? What if our efforts are not enough and I die and you'll be left alone?"

"Don't, please. Be positive and have faith. I know my parents will understand. They know that I like you since freshman year and that I want to profess my feelings but afraid to do so. So now that I have given a chance to be with you, they'll never hinder us." You hug at this point and very tightly at that as if never letting me go.

"I'm being positive okay, for my family, for myself, and now you, but its hard sometimes to be positive and strong if in some parts in my head it says that I may never recover and I may die. And with you now in my life, I'm very much afraid." My tears are flowing freely making a damp in your shirt.

"Oh Rae, my strong Rae. Don't be afraid. I'm here now, let's be strong together. With the help of our family I know we'll get through this. Fight for them, fight us, fight for you." You looked at my eyes intensely and then you kissed me tenderly and with love.

From,
Me