Sander Sides Oneshots

Headphones (Prinxiety)

 AU: None

Triggers: Self-Harm, Death

Anxiety's P.O.V

When I first formed when Thomas was six, I always try to fit in with the rest of them. I try to keep my thoughts to myself, dress in purple and not black. But Roman won't let me into any activities, Logan would not talk to me or avoid eye contact because he's 'bad at emotions', and Patton would just sometimes forget. It wasn't on purpose, but it still showed I am destined to be the outcast.

And that I am twelve years later. I switch to black and only come out for food or I have to. One day, the thoughts consume me and I grab the scissors. I move them back and forth over and over across my arm. A buzzing erupts and look at the pink mark for awhile before doing to again and again multiple times. I done a jacket and start putting on make-up to hide my tears and bags. I sit by the window until I fall asleep in that position.

I wake up and turn to a set of hooks on the wall. A big set of black headphones are hung up and already plugged into my phone. I grab them and put them around my neck. I feel like Michael in a way. I pull them on my head and turn on Waving Through a Window on repeat. I'm allowed to like musicals, right?

I walk into the bathroom and do my normal make-up. I then walk out and into the common room and grab myself some food. Somebody taps my shoulder and I startle.

I turn and see the face Patton.

"You okay kiddo?" He asks.

"I'm fine." I say, pulling down my headphones.

Thankfully the music isn't loud enough to be heard when not on my ears.

"I'm just going to grab some food." I say, avoiding eye contact.

Patton sighed, defeated. "Okay."

I pull my headphones up and walk off, just fast enough not to be noticeable. I grab a box of cereal and turn to walk off. Instead I ram into someone.

I fall to the ground and the box bursts, sending cereal everywhere. I look up and see Roman above me leaning over with his hand out as though to help me up. I roll my eyes and push myself into a standing position.

"I am no cliche movie." I say.

I turn to walk away, but am grabbed by my hoodie. I choke and struggle to pull away. Nothing happens and I unzip my jacket. I pull away and breath in air. Headphones are pulled from my ears.

"Hey!" I exclaim and turn to face Roman. 

"Anxiety.." He just trails off and doesn't tear his gaze from my arm.

I look down. Shit.

"I-It's nothing." I stutter.

That's not nothing." He states.

I try to back away, but Prince grabs my other arm. I struggle and worm my way out of his grip. I grab my headphones and dart back to my room. I  slam the door shut and lock it. Then I sink onto the ground and pull the headphones over my ears. I quietly start singing along around the middle of the song.

And no one tells you where you went wrong

Step out, step out of the sun
If you keep getting burned
Step out, step out of the sun
Because you've learned, because you've learned

I slowly grew louder.

On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been?
'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass
Waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear
While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass
Waving through a window, oh
Can anybody see, is anybody waving?

When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
It's like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?

A knock barely registers in my hearing, by now I'm sing with all my heart.

On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been?
'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass
Waving through a window

The door comes crashing on top of me. People step all over it, pushing me farther into the ground. Breath is pulled away from my chest and the world goes fuzzier and fuzzier until it all fades.

3rd Person P.O.V

The others finally gave up searching. They move the door and are greeted with the sight of a transparent Anxiety. Patton sobs and Logan turns his back to hide the glossy pools of his eyes. Roman pulls Anxiety into  his lap and slowly sings.

You are my sunshine,

my only sunshine.

You make me happy,

when skies are grey.

You'll never know dear,

how much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away.

With each word Anxiety grows paler and paler until he fully fades. Roman abruptly stands up and walks to his room, locking the door behind him. He cries and cries until finally there are no more tears. Then, as he slowly falls asleep, he hears a voice.

"I love you too."