Sander Sides Oneshots

Blank Christmas Cards

AU: Human

Triggers: Swearing, Breakups, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Implied Self-Harm, Depression

I stare at the blank card in my hands. He didn't even bother to write my name. It was almost like adding me was an afterthought. His smiling face mocking me with how he obviously loves her, and the baby girl between their laps.

Greetings from Roman, Patrica, and Violet.

All the jazz. It's kind of ironic how the name they chose also starts with a 'V'. I sigh and turn up twenty one pilots. The worlds swirl around me, spinning the world. Or maybe that was the bubble in his chest stopping breathing. I blink, trying to keep tears from my eyes. That is the last thing I need. To be crying over another stupid guy. So what if we spent late nights trading kisses and secrets. So what if he knows my weaknesses almost better than myself. He's just another guy.

But he's not another guy. For six whole months he stayed, unlike all the ones for a few days. He comported me during attacks and traded secrets in the dark. Then he up and left with the simple words of "I've always hated you", or maybe it was just my mind. Reality is so hard to distinguish now from the illusions my mind creates. 

I look out to the frost covering the windows of the apartment. After the breakup I packed and went in the dead of night. Crossing state lines til I made it to this new shitty life.

I study my hands. They used to have another to hold. The doorbell rings and I pull my selves downward. I pull it open and see the delivery person has left, leaving three boxes in their place. I blow my bangs out of my eyes. Then I push them toward the living room, but it had an air of internal death. Whoever sent the packages wrapped them badly, but I'm in no mood to open them.

I head into the kitchen and fix hot chocolate. Closed pill bottles for anxiety and depression and sleep litter the counters, unused. When he left I stopped the medicine, leaving me to spiral downwards after a small incline.

Maybe one day I can get over it, but not anytime soon.

A/N-Should this be a two parter?