Sander Sides Oneshots

Sides as Things People Have Said During School

Patton: You can sign it Sincerely, Your Friend, I Hope You Die in a Fire... (My English teacher did say that...)

Roman: *in the middle of geography* She bit my hair!

Logan: *book is attempted to be stolen* No, I will bite you.

Virgil: I am the devil, behold my flaming pitchfork.

Logan: *to Deceit* I'm not concerned that your planning people's murders, just stop calling the knives stabby-stabbys.

Virgil: *about Patton* My mom's on a first name basis with the secretary for absences.

Patton: I don't have the shaved ice since the last time. I spilled ice all over her *points finger at Roman* backpack.

Roman: At the beginning of this school year, I got into an argument with my dad if I actually need a pound of pencils.

Virgil: Yeah, I kinda sorta almost just had a panic attack?

Deceit: I lie to my parents about literally everything.

Virgil: *chanting under breath during gym* Bitch, shit, fucking God.

Patton: I'm going to weigh my backpack after school, will you guys too?

Virgil: *after saying 'screw you' to a classmate bugging him* I never curse!

Deceit: In gym, you swear when anyone gets too close to you.

Virgil: That was one time!

Roman: I hate gym, especially during the hockey unit. The first day a random hit my bad ankle with a hockey stick. The second I had like a reverse heartburn or something. The third a kid tried to amputate my leg with a hockey stick. All in all, I hate gym.

Logan: This year broke the pattern. Nothing got banned. Hot wheels almost did, but still. Every single year except this one.

Yes, these happened. Some are just me trying to recall, but it's at least pretty similar. I have a special school.