Sander Sides Oneshots

Ringtone (Prinxiety if you Squint)

Triggers: Maybe Swearing? IDK

AU: None

(This is basically a crack oneshot because I'm bored)

(I listened to this on repeat while writing this and it annoyed the hell out of my brother)

The thing is, the sides like to prank me. The stupider, the better. Each one has a specific style of pranking. Here's what the current scores are.

Patton- Add food coloring to milk that comes in a cardboard container, Add food coloring to the windshield washer fluid of someone's car, Replace Oreo cream-filling with toothpaste and offer one to someone, Cup some water in your hand and pretend to sneeze on the back of someone's head, Take a squirt gun into the restroom stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee, Hard boil all the eggs in the carton and place them back in the refrigerator, Place a small piece of Post-it note over the ball under someone's computer mouse so that it won't work, Fill someone's hair-dryer with baby powder, Put food coloring in the hand soap dispenser. Total: 9

Logan- Borrow someone's cell phone and change the language setting to a foreign language, Change the language for Google on someone's computer, Hide scented air fresheners all over someone's office, Turn every setting in someone's car to the maximum: the heat, the radio, the wipers, the seats, etc, Rubberband the sprayer on the kitchen sink into the "on" position, Rearrange somebody's drawers or file cabinets in a different order, Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer. Total: 7

Roman- Switch around random keys on someone's keyboard who isn't a very good typist, Bring multiple sets of clothes to work, change every hour, and act like nothing's different, Take the doorknob off a door and put it back on backward, then lock it and leave the door open, Glue all the eggs into the carton, Paint a bar of soap completely with clear nail polish so it won't suds up, Paint the tips of someone's pen and pencil with clear nail polish so none of them work, Remove the shower head and place a Lifesavers candy in it, then put the head back on. Total: 9

Virgil- Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf, Hide food in a trash can and when someone comes by grabbing some and eat it, Take something from someone's office and leave them a ransom note, Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace the monitor's wallpaper with a screen-shot of their desktop, Hide a small radio in the ceiling tiles above someone's desk and turn it on very softly, Leave cryptic notes warning someone of an impending prank then do nothing all day, Hide an alarm clock in someone's bedroom and set it for 3:00 a.m, Tape magnets to the bottom of a cup, put it on the roof of your car and drive around. Total: 9

Deceit- Add several odd appointments with alarms set to go off during the day to a co-worker's Outlook calendar, Put a balloon on the tailpipe of a someone's car so it will pop when they start their car, Glue the headset of someone's phone down to the cradle, Put plastic wrap around the door frame of a commonly used door, Cover a toilet seat with plastic wrap, Leave a note on someone's car apologizing for an accident that never actually happened, Put marbles in the hubcaps of someone's car, Pour vegetable oil on the exhaust of someone's car so it will smoke when started up. Total: 9

Surprisingly, I haven't done anything back that's really good. With four of the five tied for first place, Roman's been really competitive so I've stopped leaving my things around. Without opportunity, he can strike.

I check my pocket, wanting to tweet about something. Instead, it's empty. Oh my God, I left it on the kitchen counter. Roman probably got to it. I run downstairs, but it's in the same spot I left it. Maybe he did nothing after all.

-

Throughout the day, nothing bad happened. Joan came over, and we had some fun. But, good things can't last forever.

Jokingly they call my phone to see what my ringtone for them was. But, apparently Roman had changed it to a video clip. (See above video)

"Are you kidding me?" I yell and Joan gives me a sideways glance.

"Are you okay, Thomas?"

Suddenly Virgil appears dragging Roman towards me.

"You will apologize." He commands, and Roman rolls his eyes.

"Fine. I'm sorry, but I still get a point."

Then they both sink down, leaving a confused Joan in their wake.

"Okay, so what the fuck was that?" They ask, confused.

"Maybe the sides are real and they like to prank me?" I suggest, ringing my hands.

Joan just gathers up his stuff and walks to the door. "I'm leaving. And I'm calling later to make sure this was a dream.

They slam the door behind them and I rub my eyebrows.

"Now look at what you've done."