the art of faking a smile. (under-construction)

9. Little shits squad and their thoughts on lunch

AKIO POV

Chris is a total hottie. (Totally not crushing on him).

I got annoyed at Hideki for mentioning me having a lot of crushes. I don't want Chris seeing me as some slut but he probably already does. It's not that I like him, it's just I'd rather him see me as a nerdy fag rather than a slut....

A lot of people often see me as a slut or fuckboy but it's not my fault I fall so hard for people. I crush on a lot of guys because I'm lonely and I just really want someone to love me. Not as a family like how the others love me as family, but something more...

But damn, Cassie's lucky to have a hot guy in most of her classes.

I don't know why but I feel so hyped about our hangout at Summer's after school. Maybe it's got something to do with Chris and getting to know him more.... and maybe to reintroduce myself as someone other than a slut. Dammit I might be unconsciously crushing on another guy again, even if I don't want to. I'm sick and tired of this routine of liking someone then getting rejected. This must be the 24th time already.

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CASSIE POV

This lunch session was actually fun.

It's cool Chris and my friends were already getting along in someway, even if Chris doesn't realise it. I could tell Chris secretly enjoyed listening to us talking, usually people just look at us weirdly so I'm glad there's someone out there who feels normal about it.

And then there's that annoying moment where Summer HAD to mention love and relationships to me. Honestly I kind of got upset when Chris said "Why would I date someone like Cassie?"

I always thought I was below standard but damn... is it that bad? But then again he did say he isn't interested in dating whatsoever.

Relatable.

Deep down I want Chris to stay in our friendship group and I've never thought this way for anyone else. Somehow, when he w as there, I felt as though our group was even more complete than it was before.

Also it's confirmed, Chris is definitely Akio's crush number 24.

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SUMMER POV

Things are gonna get spicy soon~

And lunch was yum and Akio definitely has a small crush on this Chris guy.

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CARLOS POV

I can literally tell what my girlfriend is thinking right now and I have this feeling that shit might happen soon or maybe in the future. Hell I had a dream that our whole group was a mess, especially Akio and Cassie acted strangely in that dream and at one point she wasn't even on our table. I literally have no words for that dream, all I can say is that shit happened and that dream felt like a fucking premonition and that's creepy as hell.

Why do I even get premonitions ugh, I DON'T WANT TO TELL THE FUCKING FUTURE OK.

Well... who knows what'll happen in the future and what's to come, I'm not the one to judge what happens next in this novel :)

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HIDEKI POV

It's funny how our group acted as usual even though there was a new kid on our table. I guess maybe it's because this new kid is the quiet type, literally for the whole lunch session, he barely spoke anything

And there I was literally dying during lunch because Dylan was being a flirt as usual, touching and whispering shit into my ears intentionally. Really, fuck why does he have to be so flirtatious and annoying, it's all his fault I have such a hopeless crush on him...

Yes, after a lot of thought (and research), I've admitted it.

I'm also not afraid to admit that I have actually looked up the reason I'm feeling this way on the internet, I'm inexperienced!

Well at least I can confirm that maybe I could have feelings for this boy.

What's more is that I've realised that maybe I have since we were young and now I feel stupid for not realising it until now.

After all these years of vowing myself not to ever fall in love or get a lover, here I am now, falling for a guy and I don't know if he even likes me that way.

But I guess liking Dylan might not be so bad... we've been friends for so long, he knows everything about me and I know everything about him (I think). The problem is that I don't know what to do with these feelings, if I confess to him and he doesn't feel that way, I'm scared it'll ruin our long-term friendship and I don't want that. So now I'm stuck with keeping it to myself and feeling so conflicted whenever he's around.

And I'm not even ready to face these feelings full on yet, nor my sexuality.

Dammit why is life so complicated.

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DYLAN POV

Everything seems to be going fine between Hideki and I. I guess there was no point in worrying too much over the weekend to the point I couldn't concentrate on my studying. The only different thing about Hideki is that I've noticed he's been giving in to my attempts of flirting/touching him more, it's like he's signalling me to do it more and there's literally not a time where he's not red like right now I can tell he's blushing (cutely I say). It's always so obvious when he blushes because he turns so red.

Otherwise lunch was okay and the new kid doesn't seem so bad, he's just quiet and you don't know what's going on his head.

He reminds me of me in some way.

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Just a filler chapter of what everyone (besides Chris) thought about lunch.

I just had to write this I'm sorry.