A Silent Voice: Children again:

2. Why is this happening?:

She walked to her desk smiling and got herself prepared for class. Then she turned around and smiled at me too. I couldn't help but to sweat and shiver a little, I mean, after everything I did to her, I can't help but feel guilty! That painful reminder also made my heart ache as I tried to fake smile for her. "H-Hey Shouko," everyone looked at me funny as she turned to Ueno for notes again. "Alright..." she was getting sick and tired of writing down notes for her too since she couldn't hear well. Since this also made her fall behind on other subjects and such, she started to get fed up with it, I'm surprised she didn't even quit on her yet! Yet. I know she will soon though. "Ugh, Mayumi, can you please tell me what's going on while I'm writing this?" "Uh, sure," she started asking random students to tell her what she was missing and others, well, she convinced to write the notes for Shouko. Shouko, being her kind, quiet self, walked up to Ueno one day and presented something she made for her. She smiled and showed her the paper. I couldn't help but look over her shoulder out of curiosity, only to find a drawing of a little girl and a heart. Next to the heart was kanji writing that read, "Ueno, my friend who helps me," friend. Friend? Why friend? She was never one! Maybe she wrote something wrong. "Tomo...dachi..." she spoke in that cute squeaking voice as she did the pleading fist posture again up and down. She smiled in hopes of Ueno's answer being positive, but I knew her enough to know that she would do something horrible to it. Apparently, if it's something from Shouko, she could care less about it's meaning, worth, and effort. "What?" She snatched it from her hands and scanned it in disgust. "Is this suppose to be me?" Shouko nodded her head happily, falling for it. Then Ueno smirked, "What a stupid, childish drawing, I bet even a three year old could draw better than this," then when she turned to me, I knew I was dead. "Hey Shouya!" She threw me the book as Shouko tries to jump in time to catch it, but missed. Then I caught it and looked at it. Then back up at Ueno. "Well? Go on! You know what to do," she smirked while doing a leg cross pose on the desk. I look at Shouko, who looks worried and upset, then I look out to the audience of kids who are waiting for me to do something. Darn it. If I throw Shouko's book, I'm gonna be bullying her all over again! But if I don't and just give it back to her, I'll loose my audience and reputation as the school rebel! Think.....think........"Eh, I don't care much for this thing..." I said seriously while just dropping the book on the floor and walking away. While Ueno and my friends were confused, the rest of the class were giggling as Shouko went and got her book. A few minutes later, we're on the school courtyard playing, and then Shouko comes up to me with a smile and her notebook. For some reason, I felt myself turn serious again and then I said, "What do you want?" She started writing and then showed me the notebook. "Thank you" it read. Thanks for what? Not throwing her book away? Then I saw her tap underneath the message, where it also read, "Thank you for saving Ueno's drawing," saving it? I wasn't trying to save it! In fact, "Ueno doesn't deserve this! I don't know why you made something like this for her!" I yelled by mistake. Then I saw her look at me shocked and tearful this time. Shoot! "S-Sorry! That's not what I-----
I mean-----just don't give her stuff like that, Ueno doesn't really respect you, does she?" Then Shouko seemed more relax this time, thinking about what I said. Then she started writing again and showed me. "Well, she writes my notes for me, so she does seem like a nice person," nice?........Ueno nice? Ha! That'll be the day! "I hope you realize she does nothing but bully and talk about you with all the other girls!" I explained firmly. Then she started writing again. "I don't blame her, she probably wants attention from you, but because you're always giving me attention when playing or adorably teasing me, she feels left out. She does like you Ishida...(^ ^)" I felt my cheeks burn at that line. Adorably teasing? How was any of my pranks adorable? And then that last part too. I know she likes me, but that doesn't mean she has to take it out on Shouko whenever she gets jealous. And Shouko should never feel like she's in the way of anything. She's actually kinda saving me in a way from her! I look at her in guilt and say, "You don't have to feel guilty about this, this has nothing to do with you. You're just Ueno's victim for when she has nothing better to do and wants attention. You, you're different, you love people, you wish to make friends, and she hates people like that, so she's somewhat afraid of you. Afraid that people will like you more than her, so she does all in her power to keep them on her side by all means. And a person like that, you know will most likely won't have a future, or at least a good one." I chuckled a little. Then she smiled very cutely at me and said in her squeaky voice, "Thank you" and hugged me tightly. I just stood there shocked, looking like an idiot. Then she got off me and smiled while sigh languaging me, "See you later!" And ran off happier than ever. What......was that? And how come I said all that? I know I'm trying to be nice, but that felt too nice.