Want a Kiss I'll Give You a Punch

Chapter 11: The Broken Heart Charity

Mike

Now shit really has hit the fan.

Hot Head has probably got loads of torture devices set up in her room, just for me. This whole thing was a trap and her parents were probably cackling evilly in to themselves as they imagined me stringed up from one end of Ashlyn's room to the other, being slowly pulled apart like something out of a horror movie.

I could see it all-the rusted pieces of metal hanging on her wall with crooked ends and dull spikes, the creaky blood stained wooden chair with needles, and possibly a guillotine besides her bed.

This little devil has probably got everything painted black and red with imitation wall blood splatter stickers everywhere. And- wait what? Pink walls with Hawaiian flowers all over the place?

No, this is probably a set up.

While she's got me stringed up to her bed, she's going to rip off the wall paper and it will be exactly how I predicted it to be. I'm never wrong.

"Sit." She growled as she shoved me into the room, causing me to tumble into her bed and land face first into the bed post.

I am getting real tired of this 'beat up Mike Nor' ordeal.

"I'm not your personal punching bag, Hot Head." I growled as I took a seat on her bed like she wanted me to do. Women, they're so demanding. Especially this one.

Blondes were so much easier to handle. "Brunettes," I grumbled, "I swear, they're crazy."

There was an unsettling moment of silence and I looked at Ashlyn to find that she was giving me a dead pan look. She's given me several of those in the short span of time that we have known each other.

She must think that I'm some sort of idiot.

"You're a brunette." She said after a while, each word slurred and laced with mockery and irritation.

Damn, I was, but what the hell was I supposed to say to that? I know I'm not crazy because I've seen what crazy was.

Trust me, if you ever walked down the red carpet and seen everyone threatening to break the measly maroon velvet line-the only thing separating you and them, clawing at you with wild crazed eyes screaming your name until their voice turns raw, you'll change your definition of crazy.

I rolled my eyes and glared at her. "Haven't you had enough smart ass?"

Ashlyn took a step forward, startling me and causing me to jump back into her bed a few more feet. This was pathetic, but I feel that this lunatic was going to punch me at any given second. I had to get out somehow and find a way to get out her door.

It was right in front of me, but Ashlyn was a few feet away from it.

If I tried to make a run for it, she would probably intercept me and knock my lights out. Escaping right now at this moment when Ashlyn is unaware could be my only chance.

The brunette crossed her arms and started to pace back and forth in front of the door as if she was to start a long monologue.

Great, my chances of escape are now at a zero.

"Matter of fact," she began, "I have had enough. Who the heck do you think you are to barge in here and interfere with my family?"

I crossed my arms and looked at up at the ceiling, wondering when this girl will ever learn. "Hmm... I wonder. Incredibly handsome?" I looked down at her and narrowed my eyes. "Check. Fucking rich? Check. Famous? Check."

With one last final touch, I gave Ashlyn one last look of mock surprise, "Oh, well won't you look at that! I'm Mike Nor!"

My sarcasm was meant to infiltrate her insulting behaviour, but it seemed to just bounce of her chest, fall down to the floor, and be crushed under her feet.