I sit on the roof of the building, looking at the stars. The breeze isn't that strong today. The war's over. We raided their quarters last month. They fought back, and we ended up losing about one fourth of our army. Of course, they lost more than we did. I saw my friends and enemies fighting and dying. Still, they didn't give up. The witches tend to show the others that they are strong. I never understood their ways, and I never planned to. I put my hand on the scar on my cheek. My used-to-be leader did that to me. She took one look at me and fired a very deadly spell. I responded quickly and managed to reflect most of the curse.
"Hey, (y/n)." I turn around and smile weakly at Namjoon.
"Hi."
He doesn't say more. He just sits down next to me and hugs me tight. I sob quietly in his arms. I watched her die. I feel like it's my fault she died. Maybe I did kill her. I could've not reflected the spell, but that's the only thing that came to my mind. Maybe if I stayed calm. Maybe if I decided to stay at headquarters. Maybe then, I wouldn't have watched her being ripped helplessly to a million pieces and watched as the pieces fell lifelessly to the ground. And when their leader fell, the war stopped immediately. The image still lingers in my mind, no matter how hard I try to forget it.
He lifts my head up and cups my face in his hands. The tears keep flowing down my face, and I find it hard to stare into his eyes. He gently kisses me, his lips moving softly. I close my eyes and try forgetting. The stars twinkle as if trying to comfort me. Maybe it wasn't me. But guilt grows inside me, and soon, it'll take over. Me and Namjoon have always been a couple of few words. Even if I didn't say anything, he'd know what's on my mind.
"(Y/n), it's okay. It's not your fault. She had no right to fire that kind of spell at you."
"B-but, oppa... I hurt her. I abandoned her. I..." I swallow my tears. "I loved her."
He pats my back and kisses my forehead. "I know, (y/n). I know."
"I left her in that damn place instead of warning her. I should've. But now," I let out a bitter laugh. "She's gone. Forever."
"It's not your fault. It's mine. I put you in this mess. I knew you wouldn't be strong enough to handle all this. But I still pulled you into this fucking mess." Namjoon hugs me tighter. "We'll give her a proper burial. I promise."
********************************************
Everyone lines up in front of her grave. They say their respects and all. The witches and humans now have signed a treaty and is now somewhat friends with each other. Namjoon holds on to my hand and doesn't let go through the whole funeral.
He's always been there. He never left my side. And I'm glad he never did. At least I can hold onto him through hard times.
I linger in the back wait until the crowd clears. I then walk up to the grave and place a bouquet of orange lilies, her favorite flowers. She kept telling me ever since I was a little girl what these flowers represented. They represented hate. I honestly don't know why she favored those flowers so much.
"I'm so sorry. I love you, Mom." I whisper softly and walk back into the arms of Namjoon.
