Take My Picture

Chapter two

I'm not exactly a morning person, although once I'm awake, I'm up. I was woken up by Tahlia's alarm. Rolling over while untangling myself from my headphones was quite a task, but upon completing it, I realise Tahlia is already up and in the shower. I had completely forgotten how crazy the morning rush is here, with 4 girls sharing one bathroom to get ready for school. I, however, am still not enrolled in a new school. So instead of getting the way and probably starting a fight, I'm going to go and see if I can help Elise with breakfast.

Walking into the kitchen I ask Elise if I can help with breakfast or lunch preparation. As all of us kids here are school age, with the youngest being in grade 4 and the oldest being Aggie who is a junior in high school, there are 8 school lunches to be made. "Actually would you be able to get the fruit out? Its all written down on that piece of paper." She points over to the island bench. 2 apples, 3 bananas, 2 mandarins, 1 bunch of strawberries. With placing the fruit in the correct lunch bags, their lunches were complete. Elise was just now getting all the toast and muffins onto the table for breakfast. I grabbed a muffin and began to pick at it.

"Are you taking everyone to school?" I questioned, watching her rummage through the cupboards for plates and knives.

"No, Jordan does that. Why?" She stopped and looked over at me after placing the plates and knives on the table.

"Am I supposed to go with and enrol? Or will that be later?" I looked down at my feet feeling the guilt, anger and now embarrassment build in my stomach. Stupid expulsion. Although, at least now I'll be at the same school as Aggie. Elise explained to me that she would take me into the school later to sort out my enrolment and I would go with her to run some errands. Running errands is good, just means I don't have to be alone in this big house.

I had one more question. One I really didn't want to ask, I don't think I'd be able to cope if the answer is no. I stood there for what seemed like hours telling myself just to ask. Just ask, you need to know the answer. With one last sigh, I finally just let it out. "Can I still dance?" I knew as soon as I looked up that she was going to say no. Her face fell, she looked so sad.

"Oh Harriet, I am so sorry darling. We just can't afford to pay for classes, we've had another round of funding cuts." I could feel the tears building. No! I won't cry, I just won't. I'm supposed to be building up my walls again, not dropping them to the ground and letting them crumble. "I know how much dancing meant to you. You can finish the credit on your class card but after that, we won't be able to pay for your classes." I took a deep breath, lifted my head, and put a smile on my face so fake it might as well be plastic.

"That's okay, really. Just thought I'd check that's all." I could hear a couple of the younger kids coming down the stairs, so I quietly dismissed myself and told Elise I would be in my room when she's ready to take me to enrol in school.

I rushed up the stairs and straight into my room. I passed Tahlia as I was coming up the stairs which provided a lot of comfort, knowing I would be alone. I closed the door and lent against it hitting my forehead softly against it. I turned around and sunk to the ground, sitting with my back to the door. I fucked up so bad by messing up this adoption. Why did I ever let myself believe that I would actually be apart of that family?

Let see, shall we? I lost a sister, that happened as soon as I was told they wanted to adopt me. I lost my school and my friends along with it. There is just no way that they will even talk to me ever again let alone actually want to see me, especially after what they saw me do. And of course, I lost the only foster family that actually wanted to adopt me. My only foster family that actually felt like a proper family. And now on top of that, I am going to lose one of my favourite creative outlets, dancing. Dancing is so much more than just a creative outlet though, it was a constant, an activity that made me feel less like an outsider. I was going to make it my career. There is no way I can do that without taking classes and competing at least twice a year. I had worked so hard this past year to get a spot on the competition team at my dance school. And I'd made it. My first competition was going to be next term.