Take My Picture

Chapter one

I hate this place.

I stared out of the car window up at the big ugly brown house. My group home.

I hate this place. Well the idea of this place, and what it means about my situation that is. I do, however, love the people.

With a heavy sigh I forced myself out of the car. Maybe I could make a run for it, they won't look for me for long, there's just too many other children in need of their attention.

With one last sigh I pick up my bags and walk up to the door, knowing full well that I don't have enough money at the moment to make it out of the city, let alone anywhere else. I push the door open and walk into the front room, my social worker, Betty close behind me. Jordan is sitting at the desk talking with someone about the adoption process, I don't want to interrupt them so I just invite myself in and walk the familiar path to the bedrooms. Surely I will find an empty bed eventually, and Betty can deal with signing me in and shit.

I round the corner and run straight into someone. "oh my gosh I'm so sorry" I apologise quickly.

"No that okay" I freeze at the sound of her voice, I know that voice.

"Aggie?" I question finally lifting my gaze.

"Oh shit, Harriet!" before I can comprehend whats happening I am being attacked by this crazy girl. I haven't seen her in over 6 months, so I guess her excitement is acceptable. I laugh at her reaction but hug her back anyways. I really have missed her. "How have you been? What have you been doing? Where have you been? How was your last home?" I was immediately bombarded by a billion rapid fire questions that I could barely make out. I don't even know how someone can talk that quickly.

I started to answer the ridiculous amount of questions before she cut me off again. "Wait, why are you back here again? I thought they were thinking about adopting you not just fostering you." I feel that familiar ache of anger and guilt begin to build in the pit of my stomach. She can't know. No one can. I don't think they even told my social worker what happened, all she knows is that they are removing themselves from the foster care listing.

"I promise we will catch up properly soon, can I just put my shit away first? And I still gotta go see Elise and Jordan." I avoid answering that last question, yay for my semi-quick thinking on that one.

The two of us get up from the floor and walk around until I find a spare bed. There is at least two beds in all the four rooms now, I'm surprised they took me back in. There must be close to 10 kids in this group home now. I'm not sure that's even legal.

Aggie let me be for a while so I could unpack and go and talk to Jordan and Elise about anything I needed to. With a sigh of defeat I sink back onto the single bed that will be my new home, probably until I age out of the system. I can not wait.

Being alone, and back here probably isn't a good idea. I guess you could say I'm somewhat of a perfectionist, I however, also have some minor anger issues. Because this last foster family was looking like my last, they talked me into going to some therapy sessions with them. I think they just wanted to know for sure I wasn't a total nutcase, you know with like PTSD, major depression, general anxiety disorder, or you know any of the other common mental illnesses associated with foster children.

I don't.

Well, not diagnosed anyways. All the therapist got was that I may have some anger issues, but not what might be causing them. If anything. Maybe I'm just generally an angry person.

Anyways, being alone in a quiet house is never good for me, especially not after this last monstrous fuck up that got me sent back to the group home. With that said, I pushed myself off the bed, shoved my clothes in the free chest of draws in the walk in wardrobe, placed my toiletries in the bathroom that joins two of the rooms together, and placed my bag with the rest of my stuff on my bed. I'll deal with it later. I really need to go tell Jordan or Elise that I'm here.

....

Sitting down at the table I realise I was close, there are 9 kids in this group home counting me. Add Jordan and Elise and you have 11 people, thats a lot of people to feed, surely Elise isn't the only one who does the cooking. Elise and Jordan have run this place for as long as I can remember, and I was first placed here when I was maybe 9. It's comforting to know that these people are still here. They have been one of my main constants for a long time now. I truely am grateful for this group home, I have heard so many stories about some terrible places that kids in foster care get placed.

Dinner was so well needed, and so good. Although of course most of the conversation was about me, I did not appreciate that part. I was introduced to all the girls who had gotten placed here when I wasn't here, they all seem nice which is so relieving.

After dinner I grabbed some of the plates from the girls around me, following Elise to the kitchen to helped her clean up. I know I'll be put back on the chore list soon but I couldn't let her do it all by herself. "Thank you darling, you can go now I've got it from here."

"You sure? I could load the dishwasher if you want?" Looking at Elise I saw the realisation flash across her face, she knew I didn't want to go back up to my room just yet. I looked away hoping she wouldn't ask why. She hesitated for a second longer before sighing and giving in, telling me to make sure to start the dishwasher when I'm done. Letting out the breath I had been holding, I smiled and got started. When I couldn't avoid it any longer I went upstairs and into my new room.

My roommates name is Tahlia, she seems kinda shy. I think she's my age but I'm not sure. She's just doing homework at her desk. "What subject are you doing?" I ask in hopes of starting a conversation so I don't have to sit in silence.

"Ahh, its ah algebra." She mumbled quietly, not bothering to lift her head. This is gonna be a dead end. With that I got up and went to look for Aggie, might as well get this over with. Don't get me wrong, I love Aggie, so much. But I know she's gonna push about why I didn't get adopted. I found her in the upstairs media room, she was sitting by herself on her phone. I dropped down on the couch beside her, making her jump.

"Okay shoot, what do you wanna know?" I ask her before she can yell at me for scaring her. I look over to Aggie, curious as to why she was still quiet. Her mouth was hanging open and she had her hand over her chest. I giggled at her before telling her I'm sorry.

"Gees man, give me a heart attack why don't you." She sure is dramatic this one. We sat on the couch for ages, talking about nothing and everything. She really probably is one of my best friends, I have missed hanging out with her so much. I mean we messaged all the time when I was with the Williams family, but it's not the same. "So are you gonna tell me why you didn't get adopted?" Aggie asked after we had been quiet for a little while.

I sighed and looked over to her, I can't tell her, I don't want to even think about it. But I can't lie to her either. So I settled for half the truth. "I got expelled from school and they changed their mind about me, decided I was going to be too difficult or something"

"Oh man, thats rough" Aggie's face said it all. Pity and sympathy. I didn't want any of that, I didn't want to be pitied, it's my fault I'm back here and I am fine with it.

"Eh, I don't really care. I'm gonna go to bed." Getting up off the couch I turn and see the disappointment flash across Aggie's face, which she quickly covers with a fake smile and says goodnight. Walking back to my room I know I hurt her, but I really just can't deal with that tonight. When I walk into my room, Tahlia is still doing her homework and doesn't lift her head. Cool. Its too early to go to bed so instead I finish unpacking. I start by putting my computer and drawing stuff on my desk, Then my camera stuff, cause I have nowhere else to put it. I then being my dancing bag into the wardrobe and hang up some of my clothes I put in here before. I decide I'm just going to pass some time by having a shower.

After my shower I climb into bed and started thinking. I'm alone now, literally and figuratively. Tahlia got in the shower after me. Thats the worst part about this whole situation. I'm alone. With that I plug my headphones in, press play on my newest playlist and roll over to sleep. Tomorrow I build my walls up again.