Take My Picture

Chapter nineteen

Demi took me home after we talked. I felt better, I felt lighter. We talked easily on the way home, almost like all that deep stuff we talked about, never was talked about, almost like it never even happened. When I got home I ran straight up to Aggie's room and dragged her out to the backyard so we could talk away from the younger ones. I had to unload in order to properly process. I told her that Demi and I apologised, I told her that the adoption wasn't going to happen; which caused a few tears from both of us. I told her that I explained the hurt and that Demi explained her guilt. I told her that I told Demi what caused it all; even though Aggie didn't know what caused it all. I had to tell Aggie about that after because she wouldn't let it drop, so I told her the truth. The truth was that I got hit for pushing him away, the truth was that I fell over. It's the only truth they need know.

The truth is a funny concept. Because no matter how much you think you want to hear it, more often than not, the truth is not what you want to hear. I think that this is the case for this situation. What they all want to hear from me is not the truth of the situation, they want to hear that nothing bad happened, that I'm one of the 'lucky ones' because nothing happened. And If you think about it, nothing did happen really. Just more happened than what I'm telling them. I'm telling them the truth they want to hear.

Anyway, when Demi dropped me home she also made me promise to try and fix things with Brinley and Madison. I told her I would try but I haven't been able to work up the courage to do it. Over the next few weeks, Demi tried to encourage me to reach out to the girls, her herself still talking to them as much as she did me. Thankfully she didn't push it too much. I think she felt that we were still on shaky ground and that if she pushed too hard, I might lose it again. Which is the case really. I've gotten close to losing it at Demi a few times over that.

The fall holidays came and went rather uneventfully, what with me still not talking to Brinley and Madison. And of course Thanksgiving isn't much of a holiday at the home, with no extra family to join us, but we all pitch in and help make dinner. Afterwards, we all sat down to play some board games together. It really did make me consider my situation and I realised that I am actually in a very good home, with wonderful people. I really am grateful for that.

Demi was really busy until Thanksgiving and of course, spent the day with her family, so I hadn't seen her since we sorted everything out. It's now Friday and I go back to school on Monday, still not having made up with Brinley. I was in my room practising on pointe, Tahlia off with her friends somewhere. I had my music playing through my headphones going over and over the pointe dance we learnt before I left my dance school. I've been dancing for about 45 minutes when my message tone interrupted my music.

Demi - 4:36 pm - Hey girl, are you busy tomorrow?

4:37 pm - what do you think?

Demi - 4:41 pm - hahah well I'm taking Madison and Brinley to another open class intensive. I booked you a spot too so if you want to come you can.

Oh how I would love to go; I miss dance classes so much. But I can't, not with Madison and Brinley still not speaking to me. And Demi knows this.

4:42 pm - you know i want to go. you also know exactly why i can't go.

I texted back quickly.

Demi - 4:42 pm - You know that the reason you think you can't go is easily solved.

Demi - 4:43 pm - Did I mention that Jojo Gomez is going to be running the hip-hop class.

Demi sent the second message quickly before I had time to reply to her first message.