Take My Picture

Chapter eleven

"Harriet, I think you might be bipolar," Demi said, looking at me with caution, waiting for a reaction.

I stare at Demi, processing what I was just told. Bipolar. Depression then Mania. I'm not depressed though. And what even is mania, surely I'm not manic. No, that's stupid, it doesn't fit, I'm not crazy.

"No!" I push away from Demi and shuffle over to the other side of the trampoline we are sitting on. "I'm not crazy! I don't have bipolar or anything like that." I raise my voice unintentionally, extremely glad that the warehouse is empty right now.

Demi started to move towards me, "Harriet,"

"No!" I cut her off before she could continue pushing myself to my feet and taking a few steps back. "No! I, no... No, it doesn't fit, I'm not crazy! I'm not. I'm not." I could see Demi get to her feet and start towards me again. She opened and closed her mouth a few times trying to find something to say. "You don't know me! YOU KNOW NOTHING!, No you got it wrong." I cut Demi off before she could say anything. Looking up at Demi and seeing the sadness and shock written all over her face, I can feel a twinge of guilt in my chest. I made her sad. Before I could focus too much on that, something moved behind Demi that caught my eye.

Madison and Brinley. That's when I realised that I had been yelling at Demi. I had got their attention and now they were standing in the middle of the warehouse just in my eye line from over Demi's shoulder. "Harriet, sweetie, I'm sorry, you're right I don't know you." Demi stepped forward again, the movement bringing my eyes back to her.

"No! Don't touch me!" I pulled my arm away as I cut her off again. I pushed past her and ran towards the exit. I kept my head down and ignored the pleas of Madison and Brinley to stop. I pulled away as they tried to get ahold of my arms as I ran past and kept going straight for the door.

Before long I was out the door and running down the road. I don't have Bipolar, why the hell would Demi think that, why would she say that. Just because I don't understand what's going on in my head, doesn't mean I have a mental illness. I stopped running when it felt like my legs were going to fall out from under me. I walked away from the edge of the road and found a small playground. Walking over to the deserted playground, I fall down onto the swing. When I finally was off my feet, I realised a few things. 1) my legs really do feel like jelly; I don't think I'll be able to get back up. 2) I didn't have any shoes on; I didn't exactly stop to grab my shoes as I was running away. 3) I have no phone and no idea where I am. 4) It's quite cold now and I am in my dance shorts and my cropped dance hoodie. 5) I am crying.

I wipe my eyes and cheeks, trying as best I can to get rid of any evidence that I have been crying. I then pull my sleeves over my hands and wrap my arms around my torso, hoping it will create enough warmth. It doesn't. And when the last of the adrenaline from running away wears off, I start to shiver.

When I ran off, I was so distracted, I didn't know where I was going, I didn't know how long I was running from, I don't even know what direction I came from. I have no perception of what the time could be, but after sitting at this park for what felt like hours just repeating what Demi said over and over in my head, 'Harriet, I think you might be bipolar' I get up and decide I have to try and find my way home.

That, however, proved to be a lot easier said than done.

I don't know when it happened, but I was crying again, and I only realised when a tear dropped on my bare foot. I thought it was rain at first. I had been walking again for half an hour. I walked in one direction for ten minutes before turning around because nothing looked familiar, walking in another direction for ten minutes after getting back to the playground. I was just about to turn around to go back to the park when someone beeped their car horn at me and pulled up just in front of me.