Becoming pack mom for the Hales. (part2 of protecting the Hales)

New Alpha Or Pack Mom?

Derek's pov

Everyone was gone. All my brothers and sisters except for Cora. Stiles eyes have been open all night not able to sleep. I know I become alpha now. Laura didn't want to be, she was supposed to be the next in line. So now it's me. I'm not ready.
"Stiles I'm not ready to be alpha." I whispered knowing he was awake. "You don't have to be, I'll cook and clean and stuff. I'll help I can be like um...a human alpha I guess." Stiles was calm about it and I was okay with it.

"Um okay." I said, slightly nervous. I don't want to have to spend so much time with him. I just don't want any responsibilities right now. Not like there's much people here to take care of. I let go of Stiles and got up. "Derek, where are you going?" I could hear the concern in his voice, I could also smell it rolling off of him. He thought I was leaving. "Um uh going to find my uh fuck buddy?" I said it more of like a question. That was the truth.

I needed to take my mind off of things and this is how I learned to deal. "Derek it's like 4 in the morning come back I can help..." He whispered the last part but I got scared. "Stiles what are you talking about?" I sat down next to him, "I was, well, taught how to..at a really really young age. I can help take you kind of somewhere else." He said whispering again.

"No. I can-" I didn't get to finish he was already kissing me. I wish I could lie and say I didn't but I kissed back for a moment. Maybe we could just make out a little and it would be okay. I kissed him harder. His lips so soft and plump, they felt great on mine. I touched his face put he slapped it. "No- don't do that Uhm it can't be that way I've never-" I cut him off this time I new what he meant. I knew he's never made love before. Theo told me and I would never force him to do anything he didn't want to do. "Okay I'm sorry." I looked down but I heard his heart beat rise.

I smelt fear. He put his hand under my chin and kissed my lips.  Slowly this time not quickly. "It's okay you don't have to go slow." I said staring into his eyes. I just now noticed how nice they are. A nice amber color. So light but still brown. Full of hope but then it was gone. He was never really okay. He looked down. And it was time for me to take over. I lifted his head so that we made eye contact. I smiled a little. A little smile made there way to his lips.

I kissed him, I wasn't thinking. What was I thinking? we aren't a couple. We never will be, I really need to get out of this place. I stared at his eyes again and I saw hope again. He kissed me again.  He wants me to stay but I can't. I need to go back to New York City. I need to find myself. I kissed him. I slid my tongue across his bottom lip asking for entrance.
He hesitated but opened his lips. I let my tongue go into his mouth and explore everything. His tongue touched mine for a moment. I felt something weird in my stomach.

Why? I pulled away. "Thank you, but I think I'm good with what I got.. Sleep?" I asked hoping he would just say okay. He smiled a little and nodded. We laid down and Stiles turned away from me. I pulled him into my chest. I held him tight. I placed my mouth on his shoulder but his shirt was in the way I wanted him to know what it felt like. To have someone that cares. At this point I'm starting to think I care a little too much. I don't want to care for him this way.

I removed his shirt but he put a pillow to cover himself. "What are you doing?" I asked curiously. "I won't look if you don't want me to." I said trying to calm him down, he's very fragile. It's not a bad thing but it makes things interesting, a bit harder. He nodded then removed the pillow and turned his back facing me.
I cuddled him close again and kissed his shoulder. This time with skin on skin contact. I heard his heart skip a beat.
I kissed his neck softly and he shivered a little.

I closed my eyes and I'm assuming he did too. When I woke again Stiles' face was so close to mine. He fluttered his eyes open a minute late but I was staring at his lips. I moved closer and kissed his lips.  He kissed back a moment but his heart dropped a couple of beats. He was sad, I pulled away. "Sorry." I said he shook his head, "Not that, I think I messed up my ankle. I can't shower by myself it hurts to stand but I didn't want to mention it." He sighed a little.

"I could help if you want I won't look I'll just help." I said not wanting to make him uncomfortable, he nodded. I don't know what I was doing. I was making it hard. I was going to go back to New York and leave him. Yet here I was kissing him and taking helping him shower when I hate myself for it. "It's okay if you look but you won't judge right?" He asked his heart beat picked up, he was nervous.

"Hey it's okay I just won't look or I'll try not to I'll probably forget, okay?" I said trying to make him comfortable, he nodded. I got up and helped him up. I grabbed two towels for me and him. We walked to the bathroom of course with me helping him. We walked in, Only it wasn't we it was just me. I hadn't noticed that he had slipped out of my grasp. "Coming." He said in a small voice. I waited a little bit not wanting to rush him. Once he got in he had his shirt back on. I didn't look at him shirtless last night, I respected him.
He took off his shirt and I can't believe what I saw.
I saw...