Suzaku X Lelouch (Start Anew)

Pain and Irony

After Suzaku's birthday and the whole incident, Lelouch's memories started coming back slowly but steadily.

The flashbacks that were making no sense before were now connecting with one another like a puzzle.

Lelouch kept that fact hidden from Suzaku though. He decided he should confront him about his memories when they are properly back.

Suzaku on the other hand was super cheerful everyday since then. He stopped trying to hide anything from Lelouch and was as open as he could be to this Lelouch without memories.

He didn't find this situation bad at all. But that had actually started worrying him. He was afraid of getting accustomed to this situation and wanting it to continue.

Lelouch would be Lelouch no matter what. Even though that was what he believed sometimes he found himself wishing for these times to continue on indefinitely...

Why is it that... this is happening...? He should know more than anyone that the person next to him is the same as the one he met 12 years ago...

Even then did he still wish for Lelouch's memories to return? That was a question he didn't manage to answer no matter how much he thought of it...

The days kept going on. Strangely enough, Lelouch's memories were returning from the oldest ones... He was quite sure he remembered everything until he was 15 at this point. Just a bit more and all his memory pieces will be fused together.

The summer went by in a flash. Fall didn't stay for long either.

Was it that their time was so pleasant...? Or was it that their consciousness was drifting away with each passing day. Lelouch had completely stopped calling Suzaku "oniisan" by now. He had all memories of him from when they were kids. He had many memories regarding Nunally too now.

He entrusted all these memories to Suzaku one day... It was a pretty chilly day. Probably November... Now wasn't this a long time...?

Lelouch's birthday was approaching. Meaning it had already almost been a year since Lelouch woke up...

Not minding the cold weather, Suzaku was standing outside, gazing up in the sky. His mind drifting from consciousness to unconsciously and back...

He was on the rooftop and believing nobody would get up there, he removed his mask to stare amidst the stars...

If only he could show Lelouch the sky too... Despite all his planning he never made up his mind to take the other outside... He knew quite well that keeping him caged in there was no good...

But if it was just once... wouldn't it be okay...? To take him out, to let him feel some proper air and sunlight on his face...

To show him the world he created... Aah how difficult this decision was for Suzaku... Afraid of the consequences in case Lelouch was recognized... What if he lost the other again...? This time forever...

If only he had more power... If he had more determination... More...

He shuffled his hair with his hand sighing loudly at his pathetic self.

"Hey Lelouch... is it okay... if I make a ripple? If I make just a single more ripple to your plan...? I want you to be happy... I don't care about me really... that's just one more excuse... I just want you... to be happy....!"

Suzaku mumbled to himself, almost like speaking with the stars. Tears were flowing down his face and staining his pained green eyes...

Ah if only they had never met each other... would their lives be better now....? Would it have been easier to go on...? Maybe they would be both dead or both alive and well, away from the world's destruction...

Fate is indeed a cruel thing... But was this fate, a coincidence or pure luck...?

"People take up weapons to protect. And people lay down weapons to care... Ah what an irony this is!"

A voice resounded inside Lelouch's voice... it was his own... with a more pained and desparing tone...

To be continued...
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Aaah I am so sorry this story is getting boring and all... I might put it on hiatus after all... TmT

Anyway next month we will probably have Lulu's bday special so see ya~