Suzaku X Lelouch (Start Anew)

Not Warning but Regret

Suzaku was hesitant to talk about the past... He too, like the voice inside Lelouch's head were stopping him from learning anything of the past.

But seeing Lelouch in pain over his memories he finally decided to tell him. Tell him everything.

He was determined to connect every single piece of Lelouch's memory together.

He hugged Lelouch tightly and begun speaking of the past in a low and sad voice... He talked of good and bad times... He talked of their fights... their disagreements... Suzaku, despite the effort, ended up sobbing after a while.

He did not manage to speak to the other about his death, instead he begun crying with grief. Thus making Lelouch worried. But now the headache was gone.

"Thank you, Suzaku, for telling me everything. I am sorry I have made you remember some sad things..."

"Th...the Zero Requiem..."

"It's okay. You don't have to speak of it. From the things I heard already I know more or less what it was about. It's been 3 years since then, eh..."

"Yeah... I... I...!"

"You did your best. That was a cruel order I gave. But you did your best until now."

Lelouch, almost like immediately reverting to the Lelouch of old times, with a somewhat kind but serious face embraced Suzaku tightly, patting his head.

"Lelouch... I... I wanted to be with you... So I didn't obey your orders... I am sorry..."

"No. I ordered something cruel of you. I am sorry." He smiled sadly at the other.

Suzaku ended up falling asleep after a while.

Lelouch stood up from the bed and walked around the room. After a small while he rested with his back against the wall, looking at the ceiling.

'So that was what happened. I am indeed a bad person... But at least now, I know fully well what kind of person I am. To think I had that innocent air on for this long, I am becoming embarassed of myself.'

He glanced over to the sleeping Suzaku. And walked over him slowly.

'I am sorry to have put you through all that. I probably understood your feelings even then. Yet because you asked for a punishment, I became determined to give you one... But you, being as kind as always, wouldn't even let me perish in peace, eh?'   

He stroked the other's hair gently. Smiling sadly again.

He sat down next to the bed contemplating on his memories and trying to close the small gaps that were still empty even after Suzaku's explaination. That was mostly his feelings at the time.

Holding onto Suzaku's hand, he fell asleep over there with a pained expression...

'I told you, not to look. Why are you so stubborn, myself? If you never knew... Then maybe you could have managed to give Suzaku some happiness too... The happiness I couldn't give nor allow, you should have granted it to him...'

The voice that night appeared for the first time, without a warning but a regret... It was less threatening and angry than the previous times, but it was sad... Too sad... And now the Lelouch who listened to the voice, knew too well what it meant by its words...

To be continued...

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My heart was crying while I wrote this TmT

Again I know it's small but deal with it till June ^^"

Anyway see ya next week~