In a Relationship with Dashed (Completed)

C47: A Tearful Topic about Dashed.

47: A Tearful Topic about Dashed

"Nagkabalikan na ba kayo?!" that's the repeated question I keep hearing from Teegan since Dashed dropped me off at the classroom earlier. Pati ang iba ko pang mga kaklase ay nakiisyoso na sa amin at talagang pinalibutan pa nila ako ng mga upuan nila. "Grabe! Kayo lang naman ang laman ng balita ng De La Carida University ngayon! Dashed CDG just gave you a piggyback ride despite your breakup! How amazing, couz! How fantastic!"

"Nagmagandang-loob lang 'yung tao, Teegan. There's nothing between us anymore." I tried to point out, but of course, I know she's not convinced enough to believe me.

That's the problem with her. She believes what she wants to believe.

Pero totoo naman, diba?

Maybe Dashed still cares for our friendship.  At ang kaibigan, mapagmalasakit. So that was the least idea I could think of why he helped me. Bukod pa ron, wala na.

I don't want to hope for something else.

Hindi na pwede.

"Asus! Walang namamagitan, walang namamagitan ka diyan!" tumingin siya sa mga kaklase namin. "Oy, mga classmates! Pwede bang buhatin ng isang lalake 'yung ex niya kung wala nang namamagitan sa kanilang dalawa?"

"Hindi na 'yan!"

"Kayong dalawa na lang kasi ang magkatuluyan, Bronywn! Ayaw namin sa Ingrid Monteverde na 'yun! Masyadong impaktitang feelingera!"

I heaved a frustrated sigh. Why are they so keen on pushing something that's no longer possible?

"I heard they broke up!"

"Oh, really?! Edi good news!"

"Kaso parang bulldog beh, kung makahabol kay Dashed!"

"Porke kasi nasungkit niya ang Kilig King ng De La Carida, akala mo kung sino na! Ayan tuloy, sa hiwalayan din pala ang bagsak nila! Nakita mo posts niya sa Twitter?! Gosh! Ang dramatic!"

Hindi na lang ako umimik. Aaminin ko naman na talagang maganda si Ingrid. I even heard that she came from a well-known family. Pero ang sabi ni Teegan, masama raw ang ugali niya kaya ayaw nila sa kanya. I don't want to agree because they might think I'm bitter.

Hindi naman kasi talaga.

After our morning subjects, kinansela ang mga klase namin sa hapon dahil sa emergency meeting ng mga faculty members. I didn't know if should feel happy about it, tho. Pero si Teegan at ang iba pa naming mga kaklase, kanina pa nagbubunyi.

Teegan suggested we just have a movie marathon in my room since we had nothing else to do. I agreed with her idea because it's been a while since we did that.

Pagkatapos naming maglunch, kasama ng pamilya ko, nagpaready ako ng snacks kay Manang Suzan para sa amin. Teegan and I went upstairs to decide what we would be watching. Hindi ko alam kung nananadya ba siya o ano dahil ang pinili niya ay iyong The Notebook. I haven't watched it yet, but I've heard it's one of the most heartbreaking movies you could ever watch.

"Teegan... 'wag na 'yan. Marami pa namang ibang movie recommendations sa Netflix, oh." I protested, but the movie started playing.

Ayokong tumingin. Ayokong makarelate. Ayokong umiyak!

"Ano ka ba? Nagbreak lang kayo ni Dashed, ayaw mo na ng romantic movies?!" kunot-noong tanong niya habang sumusubo ng popcorn.

Ang problema kasi... hindi naman niya alam 'yong tungkol sa fake relationship namin ni Dashed. I'm still hesitant about whether I should tell her the truth. Nangyari naman na kasi, diba? Kahit sabihin ko or hindi, wala namang magbabago.

But... she's like my sister now. If I hide this from her, I feel like my conscience won't be able to handle it.

"You have to know something," I heard myself saying after a moment of bloody silence.

She looked at me, then back at the flat screen. "Oh, ano? Makikipagbalikan ka na ba?"

"Of course not! But you have to listen to me very carefully."

This time, nakuha ko na ang buong atensya niya so I grabbed that opportunity to begin with my statements.

"Me and Dashed... weren't a real couple way back," iyon pa lang ang sinabi ko pero I could already see the shock growing in her eyes. "He asked me to be his fake girlfriend. And unfortunately... he managed to convince me."

She covered her mouth, whispering, "Oh, my, God!"

"I know it's hard to believe. But I don't want you to live in lies. I hate liars, right? I hated myself for it before... so now, I don't want to add to my mistakes," I can feel my tears welling up. Pero nagpatuloy pa rin ako sa pagsasalita. "But lately, while we were still having our fake relationship, I found out something really stupid about myself."

I felt her immediate grip on my shoulder as my voice choked on the last syllable. Gods. When will I stop crying?

"You're right, Teegan..." she put her arms around me, pulling me closer to her. "It's really hard to control yourself from falling for someone... 'cause Dashed is different. And I fell for his trap. Naalala mo pa noong birthday ko? I texted you and asked for his address, right?"

"A... Anong nangyari sa mga oras na 'yon?"

I smiled, but tears kept escaping and skating down my cheeks. "That was the worst birthday I've ever had, Teegan. On that day, I planned to confess my true feelings to him... but as soon as I arrived at his house, I heard such horrible things."

Kinagat ko ang ibabang parte ng labi ko. Pinaka-ayaw ko ang humahagulgol... pero ito na ang palagi kong ginagawa ngayon.

Muling nagbalik sa akin ang mga ala-alang dapat ko nang binura.

Tumibok ng mabilis ang puso ko. At parang mas lalo ko lang napapatunayan sa sarili ko kung gaano ko na siya kamahal.

"When he asked me to be his fake girlfriend, everything he did, those moments were nothing but... a bet."  humigpit ang yakap niya sa'kin. Kahit hirap ako sa pagsasalita, pinilit kong sabihin ang pinaka-masakit na katotohanang kinakaharap ko ngayon. "But what I can't understand, despite all those things... up to now, I still love him."

I wanted to tell myself to stop... but I couldn't. Not when I realized I'm still hoping for us.

Ironic.