In a Relationship with Dashed (Completed)

C70: The Ending.

70: The Ending

Psalm Dashed Calderón de García

"Hindi ka ba masaya, anak?" umangat ang tingin ko sa salamin nang marinig ang boses ni Mama.

I saw her there, wearing her red dress, looking at me intently. I was fixing my tie when she entered my room. Lumapit siya sa tabi ko.

"You know I never wanted this, Ma." I answered, my voice deep and troubled. Damn it.

Ako? Masaya? I'm not that foolish to deceive myself. I'm not happy. I will never be happy.

"You can still back out."

"What for?"

She doesn't want me in her life anymore.

"There's still time, anak." she said and tapped my back.

"I'm too late for that, Ma. I already lost her. And I know, there's no way I can win her back this time. She... hates me now." I sighed and rested my hands on the drawer in front of me.

How did I make her that way? I broke her trust. I fucking wasted the chance she gave me.

The last time we talked, I saw the hatred in her eyes. How I wanted to hug her. Kiss her. Chain her with me but fuck it, I'm afraid she would despise me even more. She seemed so fragile that time. I'm afraid that with just one touch, her heart would shatter into pieces, never to be restored.

I felt so fucked up.

For the nth time, tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. I still can't believe it. It felt like... I just let someone take the most precious gem from me. My brothers were right. I'm even more foolish than a fool... dahil pinakawalan ko ang babaeng bumuo sa akin. She was once mine. Pero ngayon... parang malabo na ulit mangyari 'yon.

If only I could turn back time... sana... putang ina sana hanggang ngayon, kami pa rin. Sana mahal niya pa rin ako. Sana wala ako sa tang inang engagement na 'to.

Bronwyn, what did you do to me?

"Why are you tying yourself to a woman you don't love?" I could only respond with a shrug to Mama. I didn't want to speak. This is hard as hell. It's like wishing that the woman you love will be the only one you'll spend your life with. Pero sa sitwasyon ko ngayon, malabo na ang lahat. "Anak... habang may pagkakataon ka pang tumakas, tumakas ka na. You don't know how it feels like being married to someone you don't even love."

"I still care for Seirra, Ma. Nasaktan ko na si Bronywn. Ayoko nang makasakit pa ng iba."

Pero hindi naman ibig sabihin non ay mamahalin ko na rin siya kagaya ng pagmamahal ko sa babaeng binago ang lahat sa akin. Si Bronwyn lang ang mamahalin ko.

Wala ng iba.

"So, you'll just hurt yourself?"

Natahimik ako.

"Can you bear to see Bronwyn being taken care of by someone else?"

Fuck. No.

"Can you trust her with another man?"

Mas lalong hindi.

"Can you see her loving someone else?"

That's it. Tumulo na ang mga luha ko.

"Ma, ayaw na niya sa'kin." I faced her to embrace her tightly.

I never thought this day would come. That... I would seek strength from Mama because the woman I love is no longer with me.