Stranger Things Have Happened, I Know

Ch 64

Chapter 64

~*~*Kate’s Point of View*~*~

                I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock. It was 2:30pm. My mouth was dry. I had to pee. I looked around the room. It was dark, I had the shades pulled tight. Light was still seeping in around the edges. I pushed back the covers and padded into the bathroom. I pee’d, filled a glass with water from the tap and took a long drink. I reached up and opened the medicine cabinet. It was now filled with several bright orange prescription bottles. You have to love LA. Doctor’s writing prescriptions for anything you want. I trailed my finger over the bottles: Ambien for sleeping, Ativan for anxiety, Celexa for depression, Valium for super anxiety. I thought for minute. I didn’t want to be awake. Ativan would relax me for about 2 hours, valium about 4 hours. Ambien I would sleep for 8. I counted on my fingers. That would give me until about 10:30pm. Then I could get up and take another one. I pulled the Ambien down, unscrewed the cap, popped one little while pill in my mouth, chased it with a glass of water and put the bottle back.

                I stumbled back to bed, crawled under the covers and shut my eyes and waited for the medication to kick in and transport me from this waking hell to the peaceful confines of sleep.

                I opened my eyes. It was dark now. Late. I looked at the clock. 11:14PM. I felt around the bed for Dave but it was empty. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I listened and I could just barley hear the TV on downstairs. Dave must have fallen asleep on the couch. I crawled out of bed. I had to pee again. I had to re-medicate. I pushed back the blankets. What day was it? I looked down at my pajamas. How long had I been wearing them? I forced myself up and stumbled to the bathroom. I pee’d again. I forced myself to look at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a mess, knotted and dirty. When had I washed it last? My face looked gaunt. When had I eaten last? I put my hand on my belly to see if I was hungry and that made me think of the baby that should still be in there. I felt that stabbing sensation in my heart again. I began to sweat. I opened the medicine cabinet and helped myself to another Ambien and a glass of water before returning to bed.

~*~*Dave’s Point of View*~*~

                “Just give her time,” everyone kept telling me. Ok, time, I thought. I will just give her time. At first, she tried to suffer through the days, but she kept falling apart. One second she’d be fine, carrying the wash down the stairs, giving me a weak smile as she passed me. Ten minutes later, I’d find her in the laundry room, on the floor, pressed up against wall, sobbing uncontrollably. I’d scoop her up and hold her, hug her, rock her, tell her it was OK, that everything was going to be alright. Her doctors tried to explain to me that it was grief over the miscarriage mixed with postpartum hormonal imbalance and that she was essentially getting a double dose of awful feelings. They recommended some medication and with her background in healthcare, she knew exactly what she wanted. Something for depression, something for panic attacks, something for sleep.

                I was with her every second. I put everything else on hold and focused on taking care of her and JD. I tried to get her to eat, but she would just pick at the meals I made. I even tried ordering out from her favorite restaurants and although I could see she appreciated the gesture, she couldn’t bring herself to eat. She would only push the food around, not even eating half. I was worried about her and I felt totally helpless.

                Soon, she was asleep more than she was awake. She’d wake up late, come down in her pajama’s. She’d sit with JD for a while, nibble on some food, and then excuse herself to go back to bed. The past two days, however, she hadn’t even come downstairs. I was out of my mind.

                “I don’t know what to do,” I confessed to Taylor one day when he and Ali stopped by to visit Kate. “She hasn’t even gotten out of bed for two days.”