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seven » hypnosis

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THE PSYCHOLOGIST
"the treehouse. that's were i wanna be."

"you're so annoying." criticizes the yellow dressed redhead.

here she was sadie sink, with her sunny colored clothes that she bought a week ago for our sport class; complaining again about how i "run to fast".

"sadie i swear if you don't stay quiet i will kill you." i attack.

"oh here comes the threats!" she advertises.

"you started first!" i protest.

"i fucking hate you!" she shout leaving the stadium.

"SAME HERE!" i scream for her to hear.

just sadie and i habitual argument of the monday morning. i just like to run and she detest it and every time you do not think the same as "the sadie think" she gets mad. it makes me feel free to jog, it clears my mind. it's not rocket science but she don't want to understand so i let her having her little seizure.

"class is finished, you may go change.'" announce my sport teacher. but i don't want to.

i wait for everyone to leave and lay in the grass. i put my shoes off and let my feet play with the cold lawn. i close my eyes and imagine myself in his arms. the blonde boy that i learned to love so much. i feel the need to sob so i breathe slowly. i don't want to cry anymore. i promised myself i will stop crying and i won't authorize myself to broke this promise.
i decide to go change for the reason that i have a maths class to assist.

i start changing when i hear someone i didn't want to hear. grace vanderwall.

"you know it's the girls who change here?" she say.

"what do you want?" i ask, clearly upset.

"oh sorry you're a girl? i thought you were a boy with your short hair and all but i haven't seen aaaalll the ugly makeup you put on your face. your foundation goes away here with the sweat." she bitch, pointing my forehead with her finger.

"leave me alone grace." i plead as a tear made her way down my cheek.

"what? is your little boyfriend romeo's gonna cut my hair? oh sorry i forgot, he's mine now." she start laughing and leave.

romeo,

just his name put so much weight on my heart and now it's so heavy that i'm scared for it to end up crashed.
my eyes are filled with tears. i deserve it.
i look at myself on the mirror, my makeup is spread everywhere, i take some water from the sink and start rubbing my face with the cold substance.
my cheeks are darkened by my mascara, my foundation is on my hands and my lipstick is all over my chin.
here is my true, messed up self.
i sit on the freezing floor, my head in my hands and my heart in his.

"are you okay?" ask my sport teacher, miss harrington.

i look up so ashamed.

"ok, no you're not. i'll call your parents, you're going home." she state and put her hand on my shoulder.

i don't have the time to answer something that she already left the room.

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"mom i'm fine i don't need to go."

my mom is taking me to a psychologist, it's the stupidest things i heard.

"you're going." she oblige.

we make our way to the office and start waiting. i text sadie and gaten, telling them i had a medical appointment i forgot to tell them about. i'm not completely lying.